although some people's goal is being richer these days it cause many problems do you agree or disagree

Living in the fast-paced era, makes individuals work hard to earn a lot of money.

However

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, it is often believed by some, being affluent and getting more money is the main aim in their life. I agree that setting these goals brings a lot of difficulties in one’s life and society. Being wealthy requires a lot of attempts.

Firstly

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, it needs long hours to work whether a physical job or a desk job. The more working

time

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one spends, the more capital the individual earns.

This

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causes less

time

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to spend with family. The life-work balance would be limited.

For example

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, a taxi driver has to work from the early

time

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in the morning till night.

Therefore

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, it is not possible for him to spend enough

time

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with his family or even his children. In

this

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way,

although

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he could make more payment, he loses the emotional bonding with his beloved people.

Secondly

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, working long hours without resting enough might cause several critical health problems which lead to spending more money for curing.

On the other hand

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, some people’s objectives are being wealthy in any way which causes problems not only for themselves but

also

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for society.

For instance

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, there are many smugglers, thieves and drug dealers who make wealth in dirty ways.

Hence

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, the more they become richer, the more crucial difficulties make in the country. I believe that setting targets of being affluent by some people would bring various problems for them

consequently

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. In conclusion, despite the ambition of being wealthy is believed by some individuals, I think that we should think and consider all aspects of

this

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goals and follow an appropriate way in order to avoid many dilemmas respectively.

ElaheMon Jun 28 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

transnational problems
climate change
ozone layer depletion
pollution
collaborative efforts
pooling of resources
expertise
technology
innovative solutions
international standards
race to the bottom
environmental standards
capacity
impacts
national sovereignty
independently
economic
social contexts
international consensus
legal
political systems
enforcement

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although some people's goal is being richer these days it cause many problems do you agree or disagree

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘on big traffic jam’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion