IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Others think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some individuals opine that differences between wealthy and poor class people are continuously wider because of the various kinds of modern inventions.
Whereas
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, others believe that it starts the opposite effect.
This
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 essay will articulate both views of
this
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 argument and as far as my concerned I am in favour of the former notion. To commence with, wealth makes a person unique. To elaborate, there is a wide difference in the lifestyle of the rich and poor classes. Rich communities can easily afford high-priced gadgets
instead
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 of low-class communities.
On the other hand
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, inventions
such
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 as smartphones, cars, home appliances and many more are upgraded on a daily basis
due to
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 huge competition.
For instance
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, the Times of India revealed that only 10% of society can only able to afford Tesla cars worldwide.
Therefore
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, high-profile people are unaware of the situations of other survivors. Moving forward to another viewpoint, the Internet plays a great role in lessening the gap.
In other words
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, there are useful resources that are free of cost available on the internet for learners, which will help them to achieve marvellous knowledge and grab white-collar positions. To illustrate, a show that was telecast recently on BBC (British Broadcast Company) unveiled that 80% of public positions are occupied by the middle to
the
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apply
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low-class community.
Thus
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, technology like the internet gives humans a chance to acquire skills at no cost policy.
To conclude
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,
although
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 technology has ample space among individuals, it is worthwhile in other factors as well including education and communication.

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task response
Try to elaborate more on each viewpoint and provide a more balanced discussion. For example, add more details on how technology could be reducing the gap between rich and poor people.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between your points to improve coherence. Using linking phrases like 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'however' can help.
task response
Provide more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and well-rounded.
task response
The introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which helps to set the context for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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