In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some individuals believe if they tell their children to be hard-working, they will accomplish anything that they are willing for.
This
essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of Linking Words
this
approach.
On the one hand, encouraging the young generation to work hard can bring them a fearless spirit and may increase their self-confidence. Because they believe in their power and abilities Linking Words
therefore
they attempt to prove their selves. Linking Words
For example
, my sister was always telling their kids that they are able to achieve any goals and targets that they wish for and now both of them are well-educated and skilful in their own major Linking Words
due to
the impact of great nurture. Linking Words
Moreover
, an optimistic approach can help society to be positive and hardworking regardless of complex situations and challenges.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, dreams don’t always come true. Sometimes we lose everything and become defeated no matter how hard we try. So, if we become overwhelmed with false triggers we will disappointed soon. Linking Words
Therefore
, we ought to accept the fact that we don’t have to win all the time and occasionally nothing can help us to overcome difficult situations. Linking Words
Besides
, hard work is not the only factor to be a winner. Linking Words
For example
, being creative or intelligent is crucial too.
In conclusion, in my opinion, Linking Words
although
being optimistic and working so hard from early childhood can be harmful sometimes and lead to disappointment, it is still a beneficial approach and if we moderate the hard work with other elements of achievement, it will be a huge success.Linking Words
Submitted by mahtaesmailian on
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task achievement
Your essay should be more concise by avoiding repetition and unnecessary words. Simplify sentences to make your point clearer.
coherence cohesion
Consider integrating more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points in order to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are communicated clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You used some good transitional phrases to connect your ideas, enhancing readability.