In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Some individuals believe if they tell their children to be hard-working, they will accomplish anything that they are willing for.

This

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essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of

this

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approach. On the one hand, encouraging the young generation to work hard can bring them a fearless spirit and may increase their self-confidence. Because they believe in their power and abilities

therefore

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they attempt to prove their selves.

For example

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, my sister was always telling their kids that they are able to achieve any goals and targets that they wish for and now both of them are well-educated and skilful in their own major

due to

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the impact of great nurture.

Moreover

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, an optimistic approach can help society to be positive and hardworking regardless of complex situations and challenges.

On the other hand

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, dreams don’t always come true. Sometimes we lose everything and become defeated no matter how hard we try. So, if we become overwhelmed with false triggers we will disappointed soon.

Therefore

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, we ought to accept the fact that we don’t have to win all the time and occasionally nothing can help us to overcome difficult situations.

Besides

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, hard work is not the only factor to be a winner.

For example

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, being creative or intelligent is crucial too. In conclusion, in my opinion,

although

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being optimistic and working so hard from early childhood can be harmful sometimes and lead to disappointment, it is still a beneficial approach and if we moderate the hard work with other elements of achievement, it will be a huge success.

mahtaesmailianWed Sep 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay should be more concise by avoiding repetition and unnecessary words. Simplify sentences to make your point clearer.

coherence cohesion

Consider integrating more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.

task achievement

Aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points in order to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Your ideas are communicated clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You used some good transitional phrases to connect your ideas, enhancing readability.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many poducts that we buy are made in other countries. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems

In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of?

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.