In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals believe if they tell their children to be hard-working, they will accomplish anything that they are willing for.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
approach. On the one hand, encouraging the young generation to work hard can bring them a fearless spirit and may increase their self-confidence. Because they believe in their power and abilities
therefore
Linking Words
they attempt to prove their selves.
For example
Linking Words
, my sister was always telling their kids that they are able to achieve any goals and targets that they wish for and now both of them are well-educated and skilful in their own major
due to
Linking Words
the impact of great nurture.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an optimistic approach can help society to be positive and hardworking regardless of complex situations and challenges.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, dreams don’t always come true. Sometimes we lose everything and become defeated no matter how hard we try. So, if we become overwhelmed with false triggers we will disappointed soon.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we ought to accept the fact that we don’t have to win all the time and occasionally nothing can help us to overcome difficult situations.
Besides
Linking Words
, hard work is not the only factor to be a winner.
For example
Linking Words
, being creative or intelligent is crucial too. In conclusion, in my opinion,
although
Linking Words
being optimistic and working so hard from early childhood can be harmful sometimes and lead to disappointment, it is still a beneficial approach and if we moderate the hard work with other elements of achievement, it will be a huge success.
Submitted by mahtaesmailian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay should be more concise by avoiding repetition and unnecessary words. Simplify sentences to make your point clearer.
coherence cohesion
Consider integrating more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points in order to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are communicated clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You used some good transitional phrases to connect your ideas, enhancing readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: