IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 use social networking
sites
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
, Instagram and Twitter, to express their thoughts
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that would have a detrimental effect on individuals and local communities.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
such
Linking Words
sites
Use synonyms
 are mainly beneficial to communities, and I agree that have disadvantageous effects on individuals. In terms of society, social media provides the ability to unite
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 short time. Many
people
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 to promote a number of charitable activities, and get large attention and funding to help, even social issues.
For instance
Linking Words
,
ice
Correct article usage
the ice
show examples
 bucket challenge became a popular challenge in the world within a few months, and it succeeded to gain a lot of peoples’ help to improve and value patient's environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it becomes an efficient method to improve disadvantaged groups.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe social networking
sites
Use synonyms
 have influenced relationships, it allow
people
Use synonyms
 to spend
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of time on the internet.
Hence
Linking Words
 they do not have time to meet their friend
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
 relationships have been shallow, and forget how to social intercourse.
For example
Linking Words
, it is general to see on the friends’ meeting, they sitting together but still watching their cell phones.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are not important in
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
Use synonyms
 social intercourse in
this
Linking Words
 era. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 Facebook and
such
Linking Words
 websites are negative to some extent on personal, they have more positive effects on society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think social networking
sites
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 more united to improve the world.
Submitted by peiyufree723 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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