IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #sites #impact #individuals #society
Nowadays, many
people
 use social networking
sites
,
such
 as
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
, Instagram and Twitter, to express their thoughts
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Some
people
 believe that would have a detrimental effect on individuals and local communities.
However
, I believe that
such
sites
 are mainly beneficial to communities, and I agree that have disadvantageous effects on individuals. In terms of society, social media provides the ability to unite
people
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 short time. Many
people
 use
this
 to promote a number of charitable activities, and get large attention and funding to help, even social issues.
For instance
,
ice
Correct article usage
the ice
show examples
 bucket challenge became a popular challenge in the world within a few months, and it succeeded to gain a lot of peoples’ help to improve and value patient's environment.
Therefore
, it becomes an efficient method to improve disadvantaged groups.
On the other hand
, I believe social networking
sites
 have influenced relationships, it allow
people
 to spend
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of time on the internet.
Hence
 they do not have time to meet their friend
face
 to
face
.
Thus
 relationships have been shallow, and forget how to social intercourse.
For example
, it is general to see on the friends’ meeting, they sitting together but still watching their cell phones.
As a result
,
people
 are not important in
face
 to
face
 social intercourse in
this
 era. In conclusion,
although
 Facebook and
such
 websites are negative to some extent on personal, they have more positive effects on society.
Therefore
, I think social networking
sites
 can make
people
 more united to improve the world.
Submitted by peiyufree723 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: