Many people believe that every individual is responsible for his/her own healthy lifestyle. Others believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People in the modern era are turning blind eyes towards eating nutritious

food

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. Most folks think following western

food

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habits helps in exhibiting their luxurious life,whereas the truth is it only makes them obese. Some people are cautious in taking care of their health for their future while the rest believe in rejoicing the present. I will pen down the pros and cons of both lifestyles. In the olden days, humans relied a lot on nature. Having natural

food

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helped them to stay hale and healthy for years. Hospitals and clinics rarely operated except for emergencies. ,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend changed over a period of time and youngsters are now more into junk foods. Drugs, liquors and narcotics are increasingly used by teenagers,leading to heart attacks and severe injuries at a young age. Despite being educated school children fall into

this

Linking Words

trap without realising the consequences of consuming drugs.

For instance

Linking Words

, recent news stated that a 13-year-old boy was sent to a juvenile for selling pot and drugs to other children at school. Recent statistics show that

Remove the comma

apply

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young men, especially college students are becoming addicts to smoking and street foods. As

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apply

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grown-ups I think it is the responsibility of individuals to take of themselves and their future generation. ,

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

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the government can

also

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contribute towards the public leading a healthy lifestyle by imposing strict and stringent rules to quit smoking and drinking in public areas. Street shops and junk

food

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restaurants can be replaced by restaurants that sell home-cooked meals. Promotional offers and discounts can be provided for roadside juice and fruit shops.

For example

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, the government can offer free vitamin tablets and iron tonics to the public. People can be encouraged and motivated to follow a diet routine in order to stay out of reach from hospitals. To conclude, even if support the government exceeds its limits I think a person's health lies in his eating habits. Exercise and workouts will help a person to stay fit throughout his life. Following diet charts and being obsolete of all the bad habits will

also

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contribute towards the longevity of a person's life.

Submitted by ramyamahatma on Tue Jun 29 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

349 words

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Many people believe that every individual is responsible for his/her own healthy lifestyle. Others believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Schools should use films, computers and games to educate children instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Topic: More and more people think there is no need for printed paper newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?