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Band 7.5

Some people think that children under 18 years old should receive full-time education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #years #education
It is an undeniable fact that
children
 are the backbone of society and citizens of tomorrow. Many individuals opine that younger ones below 18 years must obtain full-time training. I completely disagree with
this
. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will put forth my views in detail by pointing out the drawbacks of full-time studies on
children
. To commence with, despite the fact that age below 18 is the crucial period to acquire knowledge, a part-time job would help
children
 to become independent at an earlier age. To elaborate, a job along with studies would have profound assistance for younger ones to meet their needs without disturbing parents.
Furthermore
, it would be reflected in their character since they behave in a mature way.
For example
, according to a study conducted by the reputed journal in a school in Bangalore, 67% of students who earn along with their studies are far more independent than others.
Besides
 that, if
children
 are allowed to work with their education, they would have the upper hand in practical skills. To explain, apart from students who pursue theoretical training up to 18 years,
children
 who ought to occupy any work field often superior in problem-solving and logical thinking.
Moreover
,
this
 would be easier for them to pursue their future career without any confusion.
For instance
, 60% of European countries encourage
children
 to engage in any part-time employment during school life which is likely to be essential for their future career. To conclude, in my opinion, rather than restricting
children
 under 18 years to classroom training, they must be permitted to engage in some part-time duties that are crucial for their character formation, as well as for a future career.
Submitted by neethuchackochan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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