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Band 5

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
In some nations, we have seen that the average weight of
people
 is rising at a faster rate.
In addition
, their health and fitness systems are deteriorating. In
this
 essay,
initially
Add a comma
,initially
show examples
 I will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these problems. Later, I will explain what can be done to solve these problems. One of the main reasons for the increase in weight is having
unhealthy
Add an article
an unhealthy
show examples
 diet.
For example
,
people
 love to eat junk food
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 from restaurants and cafes .
As a result
, they are forgetting about
home-made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
 foods.
Therefore
, they think it is not necessary to cook and
thus
this
 saves
time
.
Moreover
,
such
 fast food items are high in cholesterol and chemical additives. Eating outside has become a trend for youth.
Consequently
,
this
 tendency has a detrimental effect on
people
’s health, especially when eaten excessively.
People
, who go to
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 daily, have little
time
 for physical activities.
Further
, they remain seated for
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
time
 while performing their
work
 on
desk
Add an article
the desk
a desk
show examples
.
Hence
, they put pressure on their eyes while doing
work
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
onscreen.
As a result
, they face
eye related
Add a hyphen
eye-related
show examples
 problems.
Additionally
, they become too busy with their
work
. So, they do not get enough
time
 to
work
 out.
This
 decrease in physical activities has negative outcomes for their well-being. I believe that in order to lose weight effectively and over a long
time
 period of
time
, one has to learn to eat in a healthy way to carry out
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
 on a regular basis.
Therefore
, one needs to have the basic idea to cook with fresh ingredients.
This
 is an important aspect of eating in a healthy way. To conclude, I believe
people
 need to have an alarming awareness if they become obese or greater than obese. If
people
 can combine exercises with wholesome eating habits, they will be happier and healthier.
Submitted by akrammum12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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