Some poeple believe that is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, businees and the academic world. Other believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

The use of electronic
media
has a negative impact on
personal
Add an article
the personal
a personal

The noun phrase personal relationship seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships

It seems that relationship may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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between
people
. Being focus on electronic
devices
people
lose
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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personal contact between them and step by step they become strangers each for other.
This
is because
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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electronic
media
changed a lot the
people
’s minds and nowadays, it seems more natural to spend most of
time
Add an article
the time

The phrase most of time may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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surfing the internet than communicate with relatives, colleagues, and friends. Even in
Add an article
the family
a family

The noun phrase family seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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family
Add a comma
,family

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Even in family. Consider adding a comma.

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the partners can not speak for hours, being interested
what
Change preposition
in what

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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happens
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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network
Correct article usage
the network

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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world,
also
to keep children busy, most
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents
Add an article
the parents

The phrase most of parents may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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allow them to play different games on the notebook. Using
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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electronic
devices
become a part of daily routine and some
people
do not imagine how to live without
cell
Add an article
a cell

The noun phrase cell phone seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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phone or computer.
This
is mean that a person can not live
long
Change the article
a long

It appears that the phrase long time may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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time
without
media
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

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mobile phone but can live without friends.
This
is show
Change the verb form
shows

It appears that the form of the verb show does not work with is in this sentence.

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that
media
become part of our life and important like air.
Young
Add an article
The young

The noun phrase Young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural verb are does not appear to agree with the singular subject Young generation. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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more affected by
media
than
older
Add an article
the older
an older

The noun phrase older one seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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one. In the
past
Add a comma
,past

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the past. Consider adding a comma.

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people
had
quite
Add an article
a quite

The noun phrase quite different life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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different life and one of the used
media
was the calculator
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound object. Consider removing it.

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and
big
Correct article usage
a big

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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heavy computer with limited software. So, they spent a lot of
time
communicating together, enjoying quality
time
outside and it seems they felt not just physical presents but moral too. In past,
people
used to organise outside games and picnics,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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in actual
time
. To explain
this
, I would like to mention that
young
Correct article usage
the young

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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generation practically
spend
Change the verb form
spends

The plural verb spend does not appear to agree with the singular subject young generation. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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all their
time
on the
electronics
Replace the word
electronic

The word electronics doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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media
, like
Add an article
a notebook

The noun phrase notebook seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
notebook
Fix the agreement mistake
notebooks

It seems that notebook may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, mobile phones, gadgets, and so on…So,
this
is worrying a lot, because if in one day all electronic
media
will disappear,
then
the young generation will not be able to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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life
other
Change preposition
in other

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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ways.
Likewise
, the absence of electronic
devices
will be affected them much. Overview, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree

It appears that the form of the verb agree does not work with am in this sentence.

show examples
that electronic
media
affect our relationships and it depends on us to limit the dependence on them, trying to spend more
time
together with
people
, not together with
devices
.
Submitted by avoalbu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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