IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The use of electronic
media
Use synonyms
 has a negative impact on
personal
Add an article
the personal
a personal
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 between
people
Use synonyms
. Being focus on electronic
devices
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal contact between them and step by step they become strangers each for other.
This
Linking Words
 is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
media
Use synonyms
 changed a lot the
people
Use synonyms
’s minds and nowadays, it seems more natural to spend most of
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 surfing the internet than communicate with relatives, colleagues, and friends. Even in
Add an article
the family
a family
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family
Add a comma
,family
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 the partners can not speak for hours, being interested
what
Change preposition
in what
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 happens
on
Change preposition
in
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network
Correct article usage
the network
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 world,
also
Linking Words
 to keep children busy, most
of
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apply
show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents
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 allow them to play different games on the notebook. Using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 become a part of daily routine and some
people
Use synonyms
 do not imagine how to live without
cell
Add an article
a cell
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 phone or computer.
This
Linking Words
 is mean that a person can not live
long
Change the article
a long
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time
Use synonyms
 without
media
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,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 mobile phone but can live without friends.
This
Linking Words
is show
Change the verb form
shows
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 that
media
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 become part of our life and important like air.
Young
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The young
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 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more affected by
media
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 than
older
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the older
an older
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 one. In the
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 had
quite
Add an article
a quite
show examples
 different life and one of the used
media
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 was the calculator
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 heavy computer with limited software. So, they spent a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 communicating together, enjoying quality
time
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 outside and it seems they felt not just physical presents but moral too. In past,
people
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 used to organise outside games and picnics,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 in actual
time
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. To explain
this
Linking Words
, I would like to mention that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation practically
spend
Change the verb form
spends
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 all their
time
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 on the
electronics
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
media
Use synonyms
, like
Add an article
a notebook
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notebook
Fix the agreement mistake
notebooks
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, mobile phones, gadgets, and so on…So,
this
Linking Words
 is worrying a lot, because if in one day all electronic
media
Use synonyms
 will disappear,
then
Linking Words
 the young generation will not be able to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 ways.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the absence of electronic
devices
Use synonyms
 will be affected them much. Overview, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 that electronic
media
Use synonyms
 affect our relationships and it depends on us to limit the dependence on them, trying to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 together with
people
Use synonyms
, not together with
devices
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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