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Band 4.5

As countries develop, population tend to live by themselves, what are its causes? What effect dose it have on the social?

#countries #population #effect #dose
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people
Use synonyms
 tend to live by themselves is a good signal that
life
Correct article usage
the life
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 qualities of the population in a country are increasing since poor residents do not have
this
Linking Words
 chance. There are various reasons that motivated
people
Use synonyms
 to live by themselves.
First
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 start to consider more about
privacy
Add an article
the privacy
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 of an individual, which they do not want his or her family to involve.
Second
Linking Words
, different family members may work in different places or cities, living separately but near to their workplaces can reduce time-consumption on their way to work.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
people
Use synonyms
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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 alone can have more freedom to in charge of their leisure
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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instead
Linking Words
 of being interrupted by others,
such
Linking Words
 as their sleeping timetable. Roughly speaking,
life
Correct article usage
the life
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 qualities of
people
Use synonyms
 who live alone are better than others, which means that
happiness
Correct article usage
the happiness
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 level of societies is higher.
However
Linking Words
, some negative effects will occur at the same time. As
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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living alone increases, the probability of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 living alone will
also
Linking Words
increases
Change the verb form
increase
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.
This
Linking Words
 will create many challenges to societies and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 development because elderly
people
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 are inconvenient to finish housework alone, and some may even hard to take medical services on time when they get sick.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 who live alone will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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daily
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
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 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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.
People
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 may easy to get stuck in a
frustrated
Replace the word
frustrating
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 situation and without any help at home. Seriously, some of them may have mental disorders or unhealthy lifestyles like
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 and alcohol.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 impact the development of societies. Overall,
people
Use synonyms
 live alone can improve
qualities
Correct article usage
the qualities
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 of their life. And there are some negative results that we should notice.
Submitted by huangjiancong863 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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