Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

Teachers and different organisations always hold various activities to teach

teenagers

to stay away from committing

offences

. In some events, former

prisoners

are invited to be guest speakers to give a speech to

teenagers

. I agree to a great extent that former

prisoners

are the best speakers to talk to young

people

, even some say that different

people

such

as teachers and social workers, can act as speakers to teach young

people

to stay away from committing

offences

. In the following essay, reasons will be given to illustrate my view.

People

who have been in

prison

understand best what criminals think about and have been through the whole time. Former

prisoners

can share their family and educational background, peers they were with and their experiences in

prison

. As these former

prisoners

have already become good citizens again, they can tell the

teenagers

about the reasons for

this

fundamental change. After listening to their stories and thoughts, adolescents can connect their own background and thoughts with the

ex-

Correct your spelling

ex-prisoners

prisoners

’, so as to avoid making the same mistakes.

Teenagers

can have a better picture

about

Change preposition

show examples

prison

life and be deterred away from committing

offences

. Some may say that teachers and social workers can serve the role of sharing drawbacks of committing

offences

and going to

prison

However

, it is often that educators and social workers do not have any criminal records, let alone going to

prison

. The stories they tell are usually learnt from

people

who have been to

prison

Thus

, their sharing is superficial and may even sound condescending to

teenagers

This

will not serve the purpose of teaching young

people

the danger of committing

offences

On the contrary

, for real former

prisoners

, young

people

will recognise the truthfulness and meaningfulness of their experiences, and learn something from them. In conclusion, I regard former

prisoners

are the best

people

to teach adolescents to stay away from committing

offences

to a great extent. After what they have experienced in their lives, former

prisoners

know best about the criminal and

prison

world. Changes in their attitude to become good

people

are real-life examples to teach young

people

Submitted by kylechanwaiming on Wed Jun 30 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

353 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.