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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
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Teachers and different organisations always hold various activities to teach
teenagers
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 to stay away from committing
offences
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. In some events, former
prisoners
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 are invited to be guest speakers to give a speech to
teenagers
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. I agree to a great extent that former
prisoners
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 are the best speakers to talk to young
people
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, even some say that different
people
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,
such
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 as teachers and social workers, can act as speakers to teach young
people
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 to stay away from committing
offences
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. In the following essay, reasons will be given to illustrate my view.
People
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 who have been in
prison
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 understand best what criminals think about and have been through the whole time. Former
prisoners
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 can share their family and educational background, peers they were with and their experiences in
prison
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. As these former
prisoners
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 have already become good citizens again, they can tell the
teenagers
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 about the reasons for
this
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 fundamental change. After listening to their stories and thoughts, adolescents can connect their own background and thoughts with the
ex-
Correct your spelling
ex-prisoners
prisoners
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’, so as to avoid making the same mistakes.
Teenagers
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 can have a better picture
about
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of
show examples
prison
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 life and be deterred away from committing
offences
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. Some may say that teachers and social workers can serve the role of sharing drawbacks of committing
offences
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 and going to
prison
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.
However
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, it is often that educators and social workers do not have any criminal records, let alone going to
prison
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. The stories they tell are usually learnt from
people
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 who have been to
prison
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.
Thus
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, their sharing is superficial and may even sound condescending to
teenagers
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.
This
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 will not serve the purpose of teaching young
people
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 the danger of committing
offences
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.
On the contrary
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, for real former
prisoners
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, young
people
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 will recognise the truthfulness and meaningfulness of their experiences, and learn something from them. In conclusion, I regard former
prisoners
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 are the best
people
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 to teach adolescents to stay away from committing
offences
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 to a great extent. After what they have experienced in their lives, former
prisoners
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 know best about the criminal and
prison
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 world. Changes in their attitude to become good
people
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 are real-life examples to teach young
people
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.
Submitted by kylechanwaiming on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
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