IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is often said that it is not necessary to have a tertiary education to become a successful businessman. To what extent to you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#education #businessman
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Some people argue that it is not important to attend high school to be an important businessman. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and I think that be able to manage a company not need a
deeply
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deep
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 education.
First
 of all, I strongly believe that the main factor of success for a society is the ability of the owner to introduce on the market a revolutionary good. Thank
to
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apply
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the development of new products is possible to earn a lot of money because producing in a condition of monopoly permit to the society to make profits because they have not
rivals
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rivaled
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 on the market. To
istance
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instance
distance
, Elon musk founder of Tesla
do
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does
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 not have the competences to create electric cars but thanks to
him
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his
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vision
Add an article
a vision
the vision
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 and with the support of many experts created one of the biggest business in the world.
Secondly
, another important aspect is to have not afraid to do mistakes. One of the
thing
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things
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 that have in common famous
enteprenours
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
 is that they failed during their life. Despite
this
, they were able to learn from their errors and to be more motivated to reach their goals.
For example
, a famous
italian
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Italian
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 businessman named Flavio Briatore
first
than
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apply
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to become an important person have failed many times in the course of his career but while
other
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others
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 would have renounced to follow their dreams he never gave up
reaching
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on reaching
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 after a lot of years the success. To conclude, I deeply sustain that even if studying is important to have a good work career, braveness and new
idea
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ideas
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 can allow people to become famous and rich
enterprenours
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
.
Submitted by andreacorbelli30 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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