IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#job #seekers #receipt #government #work #community
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Unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 in order to be thankful
to
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 the government payments ought to
work
Use synonyms
 voluntarily
then
Linking Words
, they might exchange their workforce
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 what they have received from the
country
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. I believe
this
Linking Words
 donation is useful to the community and they may show their gratitude to the state.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 need to
broad
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broaden
show examples
 their network chain, because it certainly helps them feeling part of the local community.
In other words
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
 who is open to
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 regardless
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 is payable or not
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 presents important and valuable characteristics.
Besides
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, it is a beautiful way to be thankful for what their
country
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 is doing for them.
Consequently
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, by doing
this
Linking Words
, a
country
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 is cultivating genuine characteristics amongst citizens which display their openness to develop themselves and be better human beings. Another important reason
that is
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 beneficial for a nation to keep a
person
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 occupied is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 several crimes might be avoided.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 nothing to do neither
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to be busy,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lack accountability and easily can sell themselves to criminality. Once they are doing some
work
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, even if it is unpaid, they have duties and rules to follow. If a
person
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 has too much free time, they have more tendency to addictions
such
Linking Words
 as drugs and alcoholism and it can easily turn into a crime. In conclusion, a
person
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 who is open to
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 task or payment,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
show great feelings to their
country
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. I truly see positive aspects related to it, because
people
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 may increase their friendship by reinforcing their network and
also
Linking Words
, indirectly contributes to diminishing crime rates.
Submitted by alexandretco on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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