Although many people value their public parks, this place could be better used for other purpose such as residential areas for the ever-growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #place #purpose #areas #population #business #economies

It is often argued by part of society that cities' communal areas destined

Change preposition

for

show examples

people's recreation,

instead

, could be used to construct buildings to

alocate

Correct your spelling

allocate

locate

companies or apartments.

This

essay will outline a strong disagreement toward

this

debate.

To begin

with, having public open-air spaces inside a city territory is interesting to reduce the average temperature in cities. The logic for

this

is located in trees. Because of the trees' branches and leaves, the wind has

free

Add an article

a free

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passage to flow,

guaranting

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guaranteeing

a decrease

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people's thermal sensation. As in big urban cities, residential buildings commonly compose the territory and work as a type of barrier to the wind, they unable

this

phenomenon to take place.

Therefore

, parks play an important role in improving individuals' quality of

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

Furthermore

, another cogent reason to justify the importance of having public areas destined

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for

show examples

the population is their use for

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

pleasure

activities. In several places, these venues are used to have lunch with family and friends, helping individuals to relax.

For instance

, in Parque do Cocó, located in Brazil, the community uses the space to have picnics with family on the weekends.

Moreover

, it

encourage

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encourages

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the population to do exercises, as the contact with nature helps to maintain the fit activity more pleasant. To illustrate,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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Central Park in New York City is known for having numerous individuals jogging prior to or after

working

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work

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. To conclude, I reiterate my strong disagreement with the idea that areas for communal conviviality should give place to

apartaments

Correct your spelling

apartments

or to enterprises, as parks improve thermal comfort and enhance well-being amid the community.

Submitted by alexandretco on Thu Jul 01 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Although many people value their public parks, this place could be better used for other purpose such as residential areas for the ever-growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

People who live in the large cities face a range of problems in their daily life . What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled?

1.Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?