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Band 7.5

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend?

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We are now living in a high-speed developing world where it fills with
people
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 full of the spirit of
competition
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. Since it brings a more positive contribution to our society,
people
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 view it as a very good quality to possess. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the way in which competitiveness influence
people
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 in every field of our nation and the reason why I personally consider it as a positive quality for
people
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 to admire.
First
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 of all, a competitive environment can either encourage a person or discourage him. Let’s take a student as an example: being arranged in a competitive study environment, a student can opt to learn actively or passively, depending on how he considers his own future. If he is a positive person, he will definitely embrace the
competition
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 he faces, whereas if he is thinking in a more negative way, he might be accepting the situation and do nothing constructive to make a change.
Therefore
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, the influence of competitiveness on an individual can be different, according to the person himself. Though being competitive won’t be everyone’s choice, even in society today, I personally think it is a great quality for
people
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 to cultivate. For one thing,
competition
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 makes progress. The reason why our world can become so modern today is mainly that it’s full of individuals who possess
such
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 spirit. Where there is
competition
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, there is modernization. For another, being active is always beneficial for
people
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’s well being. A recent health report has reviewed that 80% of
people
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’s diseases are originated from their negative living attitude. Whether we choose to live actively, joining in various competitions, or staying where we are, the demands from the market or school are always there. Sooner or later, we have to confront them.
Therefore
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, I don’t think choosing to avoid those challenges in life is a wise strategy. In conclusion,
competition
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 influence
people
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 in various ways though, I still strongly believe that
instead
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 of avoiding it, we should embrace it smiling. Only in
this
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 way, can we live a true blessing life.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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