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Writing Samples
Band 6

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

#prison #system #criminals #felons #crimes #address
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There are a set of people who believe that the correctional institutions are not beneficial to rehabilitate the offenders and once they are released from prison, they
reoffend
Correct your spelling
re-offend
.
This
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 essay will discuss the problems with the lockup system and possible solutions to reinstate criminals in the forthcoming paragraphs. The foremost problem being witnessed is that the convicts who committed the minor crime for the
first
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 time are
also
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 imprisoned in the same penitentiary, where the jailbirds are incarcerated. As it has been observed, when these lawbreakers converse with minor culprits, they swap their criminal thoughts and feelings, as a consequence of
this
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, the
first
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-time offenders
also
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 reciprocate to them, and they discover different schemes to indulge in criminal activities.
Moreover
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, young prisoners sometimes move on to the path of crime under the influence of serious criminals, once they are released from captivity. One effective solution to restrain the criminals from reoffending is that they should be offered some special courses
such
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 as anger management, basic education and skill development programs in their leisure time. So that, after finishing their sentence when they return to society, these courses will be resourceful for them to get employed and live a better life. As it is usually seen, most uneducated people commit crimes because they are unaware of basic etiquette and unable to conquer their temper. In
such
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 circumstances, these programs will favour them to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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well-mannered people.
Similarly
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, the criminal justice system should implement
such
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 programs that allow certain convicts to work outside the prison, under the stewardship of the jailor. In conclusion, the prison system has a significant role to save society from serious killers. In order to deter the crime, the government must promulgate effective laws, which help the prisoners to have a respectful life, once they complete their punishment.
Submitted by Manpreet Kaur on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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