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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In many societies,
people
Use synonyms
 often move from rural areas to cities in search of better employment opportunities.
While
Linking Words
this
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 trend has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that the negative effects on individuals and communities outweigh the benefits. When
people
Use synonyms
 relocate for work, they frequently experience loneliness and emotional strain. Life in large cities is often fast‑paced and lacks meaningful social interaction, as most
people
Use synonyms
 are focused on their jobs and daily responsibilities.
As a result
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, newcomers may struggle to form friendships or find supportive social circles, which can lead to feelings of isolation. Research consistently shows that limited human interaction is strongly linked to higher rates of depression, especially among those who live far from their families and long‑term support networks. There are
also
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 significant consequences for the communities
people
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 leave behind. When large numbers of young adults migrate to urban areas, rural towns are left with ageing populations.
This
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 slows economic development and reduces innovation, as younger
people
Use synonyms
 typically drive technological and social progress.
In addition
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, cultural traditions may gradually disappear because there are fewer young
people
Use synonyms
 to learn and preserve them. Over time,
such
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 communities often experience stagnation or even decline, both culturally and economically. In conclusion,
although
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 moving away from one’s hometown may offer better job prospects and higher income, it often comes at the cost of personal well‑being and community development. The disadvantages, in my view, outweigh the advantages. It would be more beneficial for individuals and governments to invest in improving local opportunities so that
people
Use synonyms
 can build successful careers without sacrificing their family connections or cultural heritage.

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improvement
Use more concrete facts or real examples from real life to back each point.
improvement
Work on clear topic sentences in each paragraph to show your main idea.
improvement
Link ideas even more with easy phrases like first, next, however, for this reason, as a result.
improvement
Some sentences are a bit long; try to use shorter sentences to be clear.
improvement
Keep your stance strong in the end and restate it with a sentence that sums up.
strength
Strong view that negatives outweigh positives is clear.
strength
Good use of linking words and structure.
strength
Paragraphs show a clear idea flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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