The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

It is important that the
education
you receive from your family is more important than the
education
you receive from
school
. I agree with
this
topic,
due to
every
people
are possible
receive
Add the particle
to receive
show examples
the
education
from
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
in their young age.
Firstly
,
people
are
concerning
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about the issue of
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
. It is important that they understand
school
does not teach them how to behave and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right
attitude
. Those young
people
can learn from
school
knowledge
they should know.
Secondly
, the
education
they received from
school
seems to help
get
Correct pronoun usage
them get
show examples
a job.
However
, once those
people
achieve a job, their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
will be
claim
Wrong verb form
claimed
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to a high on success. If those
people
behave
incorrect
Change the adjective
incorrectly
show examples
, they might be fired, or they cannot level up their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Thirdly
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no more
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
valuable
education
from family. There are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
celebrities who have been successful even though they
did
Verb problem
have
show examples
not applied
university
Change preposition
to university
show examples
. The reason
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they were
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
is that those
people
well
Add a missing verb
were well
show examples
educated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. They moved forward little by little without giving up and reached today’s position.
On the other hand
, even with the
right
attitude
,
knowledge
should not be abandoned.
Nevertheless
, having the
right
attitude
is an invaluable ability ever they
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
. Nowadays,
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
value attitudes more than
knowledge
. The
right
attitude
based on
knowledge
is the way to their success.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
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