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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should not watch television because it has negative effects, while others believe that televison helps children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #television #effects #televison
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Watching television is one of our daily basis since we started using it and every day there are more people that
has
Change the verb form
have
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 a
TV
Use synonyms
. A lot of people think that the dump box it doesn’t make any favour to their
children
Use synonyms
 but
other family
Change the wording
another family
other families
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 can think
that is
Linking Words
 a way to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their family. I am of the opinion that it has to be a balance.
First
Linking Words
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
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 saying that in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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days
Change to a genitive case
day's
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Tv
Use synonyms
 has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 something bigger
Correct your spelling
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 watching it in our living rooms, we carry our own
tv
Use synonyms
 with our smartphones and tablets.
This
Linking Words
 means that we can watch
TV
Use synonyms
 everywhere
in
Change preposition
on
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 the planet. In the present, is true that we may watch
to
Replace the word
too
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 much television and not only that, we spend our days in front of some type of screen.
This
Linking Words
 is not good for our
children
Use synonyms
 because
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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know
Replace the word
knowledge
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 that they copy what they see.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 if some parents spend all they watching stuff on the screen probably their kids will do the same. It has been proven that there is an addiction to
TV
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,
this
Linking Words
 means that our
children
Use synonyms
 may need some type of screen all the
time
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 to be calm.
Linking Words
This days
Change the determiner
This day
These days
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 we can see
children
Use synonyms
 that won’t stop misbehaving until they don’t have something to watch.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, watching
TV
Use synonyms
, even more now that we are in
situation
Add an article
a situation
the situation
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 that we have to spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
, can be a great way of spending more
time
Use synonyms
 with the family while you have a nice dinner and enjoy a classic Disney movie.
Also
Linking Words
 is a way to teach kids things
for example
Linking Words
 when I was a kid I used to see
this
Linking Words
 documentary´s for kids about the human body. To sum up, I think that
TV
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is like a lot of things
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lives that it is something good but an excess or bad use of it can transform it
in
Change preposition
into
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 something bad.
Submitted by alvarobsaavedra on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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