IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in rural areas. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
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 claim that urban areas are the most comfortable
places
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 to live.
However
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, others imply that the countryside more preferable.
This
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 essay will discuss both sights and will give a
further
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 statement. Most populations certain that a metropolis is the best area for living. Because there are more opportunities,
facilities
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 and quality of life is higher. It means that in the cities
people
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 can find any job they want,
as well as
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 they can freely get qualified treatment and
education
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.
However
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, citizens always suffer from air pollution
due to
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 the overuse of vehicles and from the sound pollution caused by traffic congestion.
For instance
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, today Almaty is the most polluted city in the world because of the large amount of population using fossil fuels cars.
Thus
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, cities provide humans with many
facilities
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 but the quality of the environment is noticeably low. On the other side, others would rather live in rural areas. Since the countryside gives
people
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 good health and a wide abundance of nature views.
In other words
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, in rural areas, humans breathe pure air and spend time very actively
due to
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 many responsibilities, like livestock or agriculture.
Additionally
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, the wide selection of different landscapes, like lakes, mountains or waterfalls, gives
people
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 satisfaction.
For instance
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, villages in Georgia require
people
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 to wake up at 5 a.m. and all day, till 7 p.m., spend time outside because looking after animals, planting and other obliges take a lot of time.
Besides
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, humans can
also
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 at the break swim in the river or enjoy breathtaking views of the mountains. Alternatively,
people
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 can't get enough development
due to
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 primitive
education
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 and lack of technology. So villages are useful for
people
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's state
however
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 there are limited
facilities
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 for your future. In conclusion, urban
places
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 provide
people
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 the best opportunities, like
education
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 and healthcare but pollution is spread there, and the rural
places
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 provide active lifestyles to
people
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 but with the lack of
facilities
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. In my view, cities are the best
places
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 to live
due to
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 the high quality of
education
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 and
due to
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 the ability to be hired at any work you want.

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task response
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the two views without confusion. Use 'perspective' instead of 'sights', and clarify the conclusion better.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas to enhance coherence in the essay. For instance, phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could be used to connect sentences better.
task response
Include more specific examples to support your points, such as different cities that exemplify urban challenges or different rural benefits.
task response
Good use of examples that illustrate both sides of the argument, particularly the examples from Almaty and Georgia.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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