IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Keeping animals in captivity is cruel. There is no reason for zoos to exist in the 21st century. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#animals #captivity #reason #zoos #st #century
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Around the world,
people
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 have differing opinions about
zoos
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. Some
people
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 believe that keeping
animals
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 in captivity is wrong, while others contend that it is necessary
,
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apply
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 and that we need
zoos
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. In
this
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essay
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,essay
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 I will explore both of these views, as they each have some merit, before drawing a conclusion. Proponents of
zoos
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 tend to argue that these places are intended to educate the public about
animals
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. They claim that
people
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 can go to
zoos
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 and become more aware of serious environmental issues, and that
therefore
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zoos
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 are essential in raising awareness of serious issues.
For example
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,children can visit
zoos
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 and learn about
the
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apply
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majestic elephant, and
then
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 adapt their behaviour to become more responsible
people
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 in the future.
However
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,
this
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 argument assumes that all
zoos
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 treat their purpose
as
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like
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 education, when in fact many
zoos
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 are geared towards entertainment, and many
people
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 come away from a zoo visit having learned relatively little. Opponents of
zoos
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 claim that it is cruel to keep
animals
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 in captivity, and that
therefore
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 they belong in the wild. They point to numerous studies that show the suffering experienced by
animals
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 in even the best
zoos
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. It is clear from
this
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 evidence that many large
animals
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 require extensive
spaceto
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space to
 roam
that is
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 just not available for them in their artificial enclosures, and so they suffer serious psychological and even physical damage. The fact that
animals
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 almost always live shorter lives in
zoos
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 is
further
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 proof of
this
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 fact. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some good reasons for the existence of
zoos
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, they probably should not be allowed to continue into the twenty-
first
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 century. Despite the positive efforts of some
zoos
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, the suffering experienced by
animals
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 in captivity is simply unacceptable.
Submitted by priyanka.bbc on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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