Many children they stays face difficulties to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this situation ? what could be the possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been pointed out that it is
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
tough for a vast majority of young students to focus on their
school
studying nowadays.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
I am of the opinion that Appalling situation was caused by
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
show examples
number of Temptations and they are several messages would be down to deal with these issues.
First
of all, with the development of technology answer the stripping of the entertainment facilities,
Young
Add an article
the Young
a Young
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
can take part in more attractive and intriguing activities after
school
time
. As
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
activities are stimulating, Young Chi
it’s probably immerse
Change the verb form
it’s probably immersing
show examples
themselves in the environment for a long period, Which
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pierce their concentration towards their
studying
Replace the word
studies
show examples
.
For instance
, there are countless intriguing
TV
programs popping up, if young individuals spend a great deal of free
time
watching
TV
, they will encounter hurtles to absorb themselves from the program.
As a result
, when young
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
sit
Change the form of the verb
sitting
show examples
in the classroom, they are still thinking about plots or characters of the
TV
show,
thus
those kids are less likely to focus on what is they are taught in classes.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
should make more efforts to help students tackle
this
matter. As
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
illustration
Add a comma
,illustration
show examples
parents are able to control the
time
onesie sons or daughters are allowed to watch
TV
or website.
Besides
, young children should’ve learned how to restrict zero
time
on surrounding temptation
such
as intriguing shows and the invitation of their friends to hang out together. In conclusion,
also
people may vary in their opinions about the reasons why concentrations of students in
school
are getting lower and lower and the means of deals with the issues. I consider is that the prosperous modern temptations
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
losing concentration in
school
, and parents and the student shoot cooperate to treat
this
matter.
Submitted by Esther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological distractions
  • overloaded curriculum
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • sleep deprivation
  • learning disorders
  • stress and anxiety
  • implementation
  • reform
  • promote
  • policy
  • adequate
  • specialized support
  • resources
  • mindfulness
  • meditation
  • time management
  • screen time
  • cognitive function
  • attention span
  • memory retention
  • consistent sleep schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic expectations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: