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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.

The charts below give information about the typical temperatures in London, New York, and Sydney as well as total hours of sunshine for each city.
#information #temperatures #london #york #sydney #hours #sunshine #city
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
London
New-York
Correct your spelling
New York
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 and
Sydney
 as a city
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
showing the total monthly temperatures and during the year they find
Correct article usage
an ovarage
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ovarage
Correct your spelling
average
 number of hours of sunshine. There are
graphline
Correct your spelling
graphing
graph line
 and table with annual hours for three
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
. In
Add an article
the graph
show examples
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
 we can see that
London
 and
New-York
Correct your spelling
New York
show examples
starts
Change the verb form
start
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 with small numbers and increase
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 return to the same levels
while
Sydney
start
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starts
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 higher and in one period down and return.
Firstly
, as I write above there are
London
 and
New-York
Correct your spelling
New York
show examples
 the countries started from January with 5 and 10
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
slightly
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slight
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 between seven
month
Change to a plural noun
months
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 to 30 and 23
while
Sydney
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 steadily from 25 to 15. And
than
Replace the word
then
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 stay same
while
 others fell in December to 5 and 10. By far annual hours of
sunshune
Correct your spelling
sunshine
 in
New-York
Correct your spelling
New York
show examples
 and
Sydney
twice
Add a missing verb
are twice
show examples
 higher
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
Change preposition
in
show examples
London
while
New-York
Correct your spelling
New York
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
is just
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 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sydney
.
Submitted by nurlan32 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, new-york, sydney with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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