IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Money spent on exploration of space is a complete waste, while it could be spent on improvements of living for people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

There is an ongoing debate about whether government
funds
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 spent on
space
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 exploration are justified
,
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apply
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 or if they would be better allocated to improving living standards.
While
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space
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 research has its merits, I strongly believe that investing in essential services and
infrastructure
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 is far more beneficial.
This
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 essay will discuss two main reasons supporting
this
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 view.
Firstly
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, investing in
infrastructure
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 development significantly enhances the quality of
life
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 for citizens.
Indeed
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Indeed,
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 access to facilities
such
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 as schools, hospitals, housing, and public transportation enables people to meet their daily needs efficiently. Owing to
this
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 convenience not only saves time but
also
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 improves productivity and
overall
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 well-being. As an example, countries that prioritise
infrastructure
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 investment,
such
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 as Singapore, have achieved lower traffic congestion, reduced homelessness, and better access to essential services.
Therefore
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, diverting
funds
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 from
space
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 projects to
infrastructure
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 development directly benefits individuals and strengthens societal foundations.
Subsequently
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, allocating
funds
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 to environmental initiatives contributes substantially to public health and sustainable living.
This
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 is because investments in pollution control, clean water supply, and green urban spaces help prevent diseases and create healthier communities.
As a consequence
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 of
this
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, citizens experience fewer health issues and enjoy a higher quality of
life
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.
For instance
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, Sweden and Germany have prioritised environmental projects, resulting in reduced pollution-related illnesses and higher
overall
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life
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 satisfaction.
Hence
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, diverting resources from
space
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 exploration to environmental improvements yields tangible benefits for both individuals and society.
To sum up
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, I firmly believe that government
funds
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 should be prioritised for improving living standards rather than
space
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 exploration. Investments in
infrastructure
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 and environmental initiatives directly enhance the quality of
life
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 and promote long-term societal well-being.
While
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space
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 research may offer scientific advancements, allocating resources to meet the immediate needs of citizens is a more practical and beneficial approach.

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Task response
Your view is clear and you give two good reasons.
Task response
Add a small view of the other side or a counter idea to show you know both sides.
Task response
Give more facts or numbers to back up the points.
Coherence
Make the link from one idea to the next with simple words.
Coherence
End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
Task response
Clear stance in the intro and a firm plan for the essay.
Coherence
Two reasons are well shown with examples to back them.
Coherence
Conclusion repeats the view and ends well.
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