Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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People celebrate their special days

such

Linking Words

as weddings and birthdays which are considered important.

While

Linking Words

others say that it is completely a waste of

money

Use synonyms

. I will discuss both opinions in the essay and

then

Linking Words

, conclude my side. In

this

Linking Words

hectic life, people only get

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

chances to gather as everyone is working hard to meet their expenses.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they organize functions to collect memories, celebrate and

also

Linking Words

, get a break from their busy life. In some countries, it is considered a tradition like, in India, weddings are performed in front of the society for three days with extravagant spending.

Moreover

Linking Words

, children living far from their parents like, in foreign countries, get quality time to spend with their families and relatives. The quality of time you spend matters

most

Rephrase

show examples

than the quantity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is

also

Linking Words

a belief that celebrations are no more than just

money

Use synonyms

wastage as they can

also

Linking Words

use

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

in many ways. To illustrate,

instead

Linking Words

of throwing a party, travelling abroad at

affordable

Add an article

an affordable

show examples

price will be more beneficial

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

helps to learn something new about other cultures.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, adding to your knowledge is

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

way to invest

money

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as joining your

desirable

Replace the word

desired

show examples

language learning course. In these ways, people will get to know more about other nation's living, ethics, languages and so on. In conclusion, celebrations are important in one's life and every person has their own aspect on

this

Linking Words

topic. So, I believe that celebrating your

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

much more important than doing something else. You will collect memories with your loved ones to remember.

kaursimrat455Sun Jul 04 2021

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Task Response

Well done in discussing both sides of the topic. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will cover in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure and the points are well-supported with examples. Try to improve the transition between paragraphs for better coherence.

Task Response

Clear presentation of both opinions on celebrating birthdays and weddings

Task Response

Effective use of examples to support your arguments

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Many educational institues are offering online courses. Do the advantages of this form of education outweigh the disadvantages.

Handwriting today is less formal than it was in the past. What are the causes of this change? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.