Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

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Financial
Correct article usage
The financial

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resources of the country have to be invested wisely by the authority.
Howerever
Correct your spelling
However

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government
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funding perhaps leads to major contradictions.
Such
Linking Words

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as, few people hold an opinion that the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is pooling its
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital

It seems that capitals may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on
the
Correct article usage
apply

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artistry, but which could be better funded on other commodities. I disagree with
this
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notion. And, I will recount my
prespective
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perspective

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in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay. 
Art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has evidently become a backbone of the countries economical and cultural progress for many years. And yet, many fields of
art
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are not well
previlaged
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privileged

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by the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. By providing aides help
in
Change preposition
apply

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entice youngsters to get into the field and would
upholds
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uphold

The verb upholds after the modal verb would does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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national values and importance in the worlds
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

faltform
Correct your spelling
platform
flatform

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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

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, I am not opposing the idea of investing
on
Change preposition
in

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other useful developments of the country. I would support
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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government
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which has been considerate
on
Change preposition
of

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artistry and
it's
Correct your spelling
its

The word it's doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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improvision by providing necessary assistance.  In a
nut shell
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nutshell

The word nut shell seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, even though people hold disparity ideas about
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

providing funding to the development of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

art
Correct article usage
the art

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industry. I would argue that it has to continue. And
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it's mandatory to
upbring
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bring

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country's historical value and economical prosperity.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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