IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
Financial
Correct article usage
The financial
show examples
 resources of the country have to be invested wisely by the authority.
Howerever
Correct your spelling
However
government
 funding perhaps leads to major contradictions.
Such
 as, few people hold an opinion that the
government
 is pooling its
capitals
Fix the agreement mistake
capital
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artistry, but which could be better funded on other commodities. I disagree with
this
 notion. And, I will recount my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
 in
this
 essay. 
Art
 has evidently become a backbone of the countries economical and cultural progress for many years. And yet, many fields of
art
 are not well
previlaged
Correct your spelling
privileged
 by the
government
. By providing aides help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entice youngsters to get into the field and would
upholds
Change the verb form
uphold
show examples
 national values and importance in the worlds
art
faltform
Correct your spelling
platform
flatform
.
Nevertheless
, I am not opposing the idea of investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other useful developments of the country. I would support
Add an article
a
the
show examples
government
 which has been considerate
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 artistry and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 improvision by providing necessary assistance.  In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, even though people hold disparity ideas about
government
 providing funding to the development of
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 industry. I would argue that it has to continue. And
also
 it's mandatory to
upbring
Correct your spelling
bring
 country's historical value and economical prosperity.
Submitted by aishwaryamd03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: