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Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
An argument has arisen between two groups, the first
one
 believes that university students have the right to study a variety of
subjects
,
while
 the second view says that they should concentrate on their main major. In
this
 report, I will go through both sides of
this
 conflict, and
then
 allow me to share my point of view.
To begin
 with, studying various
subjects
 is exciting, helpful, beneficial, and profitable;
as a consequence
, many people believe that learners have the right to study whatever they want with their main major.
Firstly
, having general knowledge about different fields is necessary. For
further
 explanation, many managers acknowledge that having basic knowledge about various fields is beneficial, so they usually look for a candidate who studies various
subjects
, not only their main major.
Secondly
, learning different
subjects
 is interesting. Many people post on social media that when they learn something new, they feel excited, amazed, and relaxed, and some of them discover a lot of new interesting information.
Although
 the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence. The first
one
 is that concentrating on
one
 topic helps to be more productive, creative, and unique.
For example
, many successful players, businessmen, and workers
such
 as Messi, Bill, and Elon paid attention to their main
field
;
as a result
, they turned into successful, brilliant, and unique characters.
Besides
 that, paying attention to
one
field
 helps to dig into it. Many studies show that the learners who studied
one
field
 only have more information and skills related to that
field
 compared to those who studied additional
subjects
.
Also
, these people showed excellent work because they are experts in their
field
. In conclusion, even though some students have the desire to learn about other
subjects
, it is more strategic, useful, and beneficial for them to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification;
however
, I completely agree with the second opinion.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Introduction Development
Expand your introduction by clearly stating both views before presenting your thesis statement. This will provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Supporting Examples
Include more detailed examples to support your points. Specific instances, studies, or statistics can strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Balanced Discussion
Consider a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your conclusion. Giving equal consideration shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
Repetition Reduction
Be mindful of repetition. Try to use synonyms or rephrase your sentences to avoid using the same words or phrases too closely together.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Presentation of Views
You successfully presented and contrasted the two views on the subject.
Conclusion Clarity
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, giving a clear stance on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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