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Band 2.5

Some people think that government is wasting money on the art and that money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extend do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #art
Artistry is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 backbone of
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 economical and cultural development.
Although
 a few people hold an opinion that
instead
 of pooling capital in the
feild
Correct your spelling
field
 of
art
, money can be
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 essential
commodoties
Correct your spelling
commodities
. I disagree with
this
 notion and recount my perspective in the below essay.
Art
 is
detoriating
Correct your spelling
deteriorating
 in value and popularity in society. Declining artistry could lead to despair damage to the
country
's economy.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is why
,
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apply
show examples
 authorities ought to take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
 and provide financial
Correct your spelling
aid
show examples
aide
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aid
show examples
 for its enhancement and give a national
flatform
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platform
show examples
. For
intanse
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instance
intense
, when money gets invested and
work
Correct article usage
a work
show examples
 of
art
 gets promoted by the government, motivates
youngters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 to consider
art
 as a career option. In turn, uphold
artism
Correct your spelling
artist
 of the
country
 globally. Artistry
also
 depicts
historical
Correct article usage
the historical
show examples
 values and
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 richness of the
country
.
However
,
thesedays
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these days
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
depletion
Correct article usage
a depletion
show examples
 in the number of museums and
art
 galleries. The reason for
this
 could be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of financial
asstiance
Correct your spelling
assistance
.
Therefore
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 essential for the government to step in and mitigate the problem by assuring
infrastructual
Correct your spelling
infrastructural
infrastructure
 and constructional help in building more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
art
gallaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
 to exhibit the work of
art
. In conclusion, As fully aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the necessity of development of other public facilities.
Nevertheless
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that even
art
 has to be
considerate
Replace the word
considered
show examples
 and given immense support to continue its vivid role in the nation's
progrssion
Correct your spelling
progression
 in various aspects.
Submitted by aishwaryamd03 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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