People have historically attempted to achieve a perfect society. However, it is difficult to decide what a perfect society would be like. What would be the most important element of an ideal society? What can normal people do to make society more perfect?

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Having a perfect

society

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is mankind’s dream, unfortunately,

this

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is hard to achieve as many different factors should work in an optimal proportion. I personally think that peace is the most essential factor of an ideal world, for these citizens need to follow rules and regulations of

society

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and should develop

higher

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a higher

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level of tolerance.

Firstly

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, peacefulness

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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extremely

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an extremely

the extremely

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essential tool to lead a perfect life.

This

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is because citizens would enjoy their lives its fullest and do not need to fear

about

Change preposition

apply

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getting attacked by others.

In other words

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, crime rates seem to be at a minimum in

such

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areas,

for instance

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, theft, murders, money laundering and so on.

Similarly

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, equality which is not only between different genders, income groups but religions

also

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should be there.

However

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, maintaining peace in

society

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is not an easy task since it is multifactorial.

Firstly

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, despite social and economical differences members of the community need to accept the system of their country. By following

this

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, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

less chance to witness any break in the peacefulness of the area.

Additionally

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, rarely do we see criminals, manipulators grow there.

Instead

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, if people argued against the law of the land, the people would experience social unrest and conflicts. To illustrate

this

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, when observing the world happiness index,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

shows that countries, where their citizens remain within the constitution, are happier and the places are considered peaceful. In conclusion,

although

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building a perfect nation or

society

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is seemed to be a utopia, I think if everyone starts following their county’s law and order would bring peace.

This

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is the most significant factor to achieve a perfect

society

Use synonyms

Submitted by Sal on Sun Jul 04 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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People have historically attempted to achieve a perfect society. However, it is difficult to decide what a perfect society would be like. What would be the most important element of an ideal society? What can normal people do to make society more perfect?

Your opinion

Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Orientation programs for new students are essential for helping them integrate into university life.

one of the consequences of the medical care is that people are living longer and expentensy is increasing Do you think this advantage of development overwieghts the disadvantage?

Many things that used to be done by hand are now being done by machines. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?