IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#group #tour #guide #travel
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The vast majority of the
population
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 deems that the presence of a
tour
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 guide is composed of a necessary part of the
tour
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 destination
while
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 others argue with
this
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 position and claim that visitors can
travel
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 independently. I advocate strongly with these statements and am going to reflect on
this
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 essay my own view of
such
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 a common issue and discuss both opinions. On the one hand, it can be inferred that a large number of the
population
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 is right. First of all, a more detailed look at
this
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 trouble affords the
population
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to conclude
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 the core benefits of
tour
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 guides.
For instance
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, the qualified person knows a substantial total of information about the local environment and he can be so useful assistant during the trip.
Secondly
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, staffers of various
tour
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 agencies possess special knowledge of the place, where they perform their duties.
Hence
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,
tour
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 guides may help people in various situations, which tourists often encounter.
On the other hand
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, it can be spotted that the
population
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 embark on
travel
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 without
tour
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 groups.
Likewise
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, visitors often organize routes themselves, especially to remote places.
In addition
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, tourists admit that a
travel
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 agency provides very expensive trips and some people do not have the possibility to make a purchase of them.
However
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, destinations, which are organized by agencies, are more informative and fascinating
in contrast
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 to individual trips.
Consequently
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, some visitors continue to choose companies for travelling. To summarize, I would stress that
tour
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 groups have both positive and negative sides. I support definitely
this
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 statement and my arguments confirm it.
Nevertheless
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, tourists must decide for themselves what the best way to
travel
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 is.
Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on

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task response
Your essay needs a clearer, more focused thesis statement in the introduction to effectively guide the reader on your stance about traveling with a tour guide. Also, ensure you provide stronger, more specific examples to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
While your essay presents both sides of the argument well, the logical flow can be further improved. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Also, avoid starting sentences with vague phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
task response
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion.
task response
You effectively mention both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
Your language variety and vocabulary usage are quite good, making the essay engaging to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational
  • logistics
  • convenience
  • exclusive experiences
  • safety and security
  • spontaneous adventures
  • historical sites
  • cultural practices
  • landmarks
  • insights
  • socialization
  • lifelong friendships
  • restrictive
  • authentic experiences
  • skip-the-line
What to do next:
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