some people think that money is the most important factor in promoting happiness? do you think people can be happy without money? what other factors contribute towards hapiness?

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In
this
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exorbitant world, wealth is a fundamental need for every individual. It can give you a better lifestyle and education;
however
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, some people assume that
money
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is solely a vital part of enhancing happiness. In
this
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essay, I will explain both of these segments, and
also
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share some other element which can give us enormous joy. Focusing on the
first
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question,
money
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is an inevitable need for every other human without
money
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they could not survive in
this
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expensive world.
Besides
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this
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, without ,wealth only older generations and teenagers could be happy because they merely want emotional attachment rather than currency.
For instance
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, in older ,ager they only want their child may spend some time with them. It gives them jubilant feelings.
Although
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children
also
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want attraction from their parents. As per my opinion,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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two
Add a hyphen
two-generation
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generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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would be happy without wealth. These are several elements that make people happy.
First
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and foremost is a success. When any individual gets success in any particular field at that time they are adequate happy.
In addition
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, a good relationship between friends and family
also
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boost their energy and mental health. To illustrate, when people have a good bonding with their parents and cousins that time they can share anything with them,
therefore
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they did not feel stress and mental issues, it can reduce many diseases
from
Change preposition
apply
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related to brain and heart. To conclude,
although
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money
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is an essential part of every human being without that they could not get a better lifestyle or education;
however
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, there are
also
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some other ways towards happiness without
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kajavadarapiyush786 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comforts
  • reliant
  • financial wealth
  • achievements
  • mental health
  • materialistic
  • immeasurable
  • joy
  • satisfaction
  • community
  • social connections
  • supportive
  • well-being
  • physical health
  • stress management
  • spiritual
  • philosophical
  • meaning
  • purpose
  • peace
  • self-acceptance
  • positive mindset
  • optimistic
  • sustainable
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