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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that university education should be free for everyone. Others believe that students should pay for their university education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
While
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 many individuals believe that
university
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education
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 should be free for all
students
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, others think that
students
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 should pay for their own
education
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. From my perspective, universities should provide free
education
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 because
this
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 can give more people the opportunity to study and build a successful career.
Body paragraph 1
One reason why some people think that
university
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education
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 should be free is that it can help
students
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 from different financial backgrounds to achieve their educational goals.
This
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 is mainly because if
students
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 do not need to pay high amounts of money for their
education
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, they can focus more on their studies and achieve higher grades.
As a result
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, they will have more chances to enter good universities and find better job opportunities in the future.
For instance
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, if a student comes from a family with limited financial resources, free
university
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education
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 can help him complete his studies without having to worry about paying expensive tuition fees.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others believe that
students
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 should pay for their
university
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education
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 because
this
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 can reduce the financial pressure on governments.
This
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 is mainly because universities require a lot of money to provide
high quality
Correct your spelling
high-quality
education
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 and maintain their facilities.
As a result
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, if
students
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 pay some of the costs, governments can spend their financial resources on other important services
such
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 as healthcare and public transport.
For example
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, when
students
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 pay tuition fees, the government can use the money that it saves to improve other public services and provide better facilities for citizens.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 making
students
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 pay for their
university
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education
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 can reduce the financial pressure on governments, I believe that
university
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education
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 should be free because it can give
students
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 from different backgrounds equal opportunities to achieve their educational and career goals.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why free study is better than a system where students pay. You could also say how the state could pay for it.
task response
Your first main point is clear: free study can help people from poor homes. However, the line about getting higher grades and then entering good universities is not fully clear, because students are already at university. Focus instead on finishing their course and getting a good job.
task response
Your examples fit the main points, but they are quite general. Add one clear real or possible case, such as a young person who must work long hours to pay fees and so has less time to study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. Each body part has one main idea, which makes the writing easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as 'On the other hand', 'As a result', and 'For example'. Try not to use 'This is mainly because' in both body parts. Use other simple links, such as 'This means that' or 'Also'.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence in each body part repeats the point before it. Use that space to add a new detail or a short result. This will make each paragraph feel more complete.
task response
Your opinion is clear from the introduction and stays the same in the conclusion.
task response
You cover both sides of the question in a fair way.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are in a clear order, and the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion match well and give the essay a complete shape.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tuition fees
  • financial background
  • economic growth
  • burden of student debt
  • institutional funding
  • equitable access
  • student responsibility
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce development
  • innovation
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