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Band 4.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
In our modern
time
,
people
 relay information differently
as a result
 of technological advancement. In my opinion, relationships have, for the most part, improved in two major ways through
this
 phenomenon. I am
also
 convinced the use of new means of communication, made available through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, could potentially give rise to less meaningful interactions. It is my view that,
on e
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 personal level, technology has enabled us to stay in touch more easily.
People
 used to
commuicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 through the postal system if they wished to contact someone who lived far from them.
This
 system was cumbersome and often led to
loss
Add an article
the loss
a loss
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 of connection. Through programs
such
 as Skype or Whatsapp, everyone can now speak to their friends and relatives around the world whenever they
pelase
Correct your spelling
please
.
In addition
, whereas before working
professinal
Correct your spelling
professionals
professional
 had limited
opportnity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to get to know their colleagues, they can, at the present
time
, use various websites to find out about them. Websites
such
 as Instagram or Linkedin have helped staff members to find common interests to talk about at work. I
further
 believe that
,
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apply
show examples
 Internet-based platforms sway individuals into staying connected mainly in the virtual world.
For example
, there are
people
 who have hundreds of “friends” on sites
such
 as Facebook, yet they rarely speak to them about important issues in life. Another reason why
Add an article
a
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 may at times remain superficial could be attributed to impaired social skills. Since some
people
 refrain from socializing in real-life situations and
instead
 chat with others through the internet, they fail to establish deep connections through face-to-face communication. The youth,
in particular
, might prefer to spend their
time
 online and miss the chance to practise their skills to form intimate relationships. In conclusion, technological innovations have revolutionized both our personal and
professinal
Correct your spelling
professional
 lives by allowing us to communicate with friends, relatives and colleagues less effortfully. We can
also
 discover a lot more about others’
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 social media. From my perspective,
however
, since some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 prefer to spend their
time
 online, missing the chance to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 their social skills, engaging in cutting-edge forms of communication could diminish the depth of their relationships.
Submitted by Ashkan Mafi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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