Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #celebrations #weddings #birthdays #waste

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

cosmopolitan

time

Use synonyms

, celebrating

events

Use synonyms

has become a trend for most

people

Use synonyms

. It is argued by some

people

Use synonyms

that

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

money

Use synonyms

on weddings or

birthdays

Change the noun form

birthday

show examples

parties would be beneficial but other groups of individuals are against

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both points of view and explain why I am in favour of spending

money

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

events

Use synonyms

. There are

people

Use synonyms

who believe that the benefits of spending

money

Use synonyms

outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing in

this

Linking Words

is that these

events

Use synonyms

would be memorised for their whole life as

this

Linking Words

type of action gives them an opportunity to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

mingle with their whole relatives as they would all be presented at the same spot to enjoy that unique

time

Use synonyms

. In India,

for example

Linking Words

, different communities come together at a particular

time

Use synonyms

and collect the most wonderful memories that they have spent with their loved ones.

Hence

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

spends

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

with their relatives is more important than any quantity of

money

Use synonyms

spent.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some think that

this

Linking Words

is just a way to burn

money

Use synonyms

. They harbour

this

Linking Words

opinion because they think that it is a huge amount of cost that they spend on unnecessary

events

Use synonyms

and do not compensate for the work. To be precise

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

instead

Linking Words

of wasting

money

Use synonyms

on these occasions, it would be more beneficial for them to make

their

Change preposition

up their

show examples

mind in a way that they only invite

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

their parties that will not burden their pockets.

For instance

Linking Words

, the

money

Use synonyms

that they use in anniversaries or any other parties, ought to be quintessential to use for charity or learn any new languages. In conclusion, I believe that both the arguments have their merits,

however

Linking Words

, I believe that

money

Use synonyms

spends

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

on birthdays or mainly on weddings

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

justified.

This

Linking Words

is because the moment that they have spent

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all together

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

always be with them for their whole life.

Submitted by karampalvirk21 on Sun Jul 04 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the essay and guide the reader.

Task Achievement

Ensure a more direct response to the essay prompt by addressing both views in more depth and providing a balanced opinion.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
commemorate
festivities
bonding experience
financial strain
budget-friendly
sustainable celebrations
social dynamics
peer pressure
materialism

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Traffic and congestion have become a major problem in cities. Some people believe it can be resolved if private vehicles are banned in city centres while others argue that this is not a realistic solution. This essay will discuss how banning private cars can solve this problem as people will be forced to use public transport and also why it is difficult to enforce this. Furthermore, I will share my opinion in support of the later argument.
4
band
For celebrities and other famous people, it is always good ot be talked about ni the media (e.g. Internet, newspapers, TV). Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer
Some people argue that celebrities and other famous people should always talk in the media. I personally agree with this statement because the general public always want to see celebrities and famous people in the electronic and print media, and as celebrities are influential, they can raise awareness.
4
band
The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Some people think that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people and some people think that they serve as negative role models. I will talk about two opinions and then I make a conclusion.
6.5
band
Write an academic essay of about 250 words on the following topic. In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the contemporary epoch, hordes of young students would rather, in the gap between ending school and starting academic education at a higher level, do some recreational activities like taking a trip or even work. This is a growing trend in specific countries, hence, I discuss both the negative and positive aspects of this issue.
5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people,however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Whilst the governments believe the economy is very important because they depend on it very much, people think the other types of progress are equal to money so they can get their rights properly.

Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

For celebrities and other famous people, it is always good ot be talked about ni the media (e.g. Internet, newspapers, TV). Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?