Some parents buy a lot of toys for their children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a lot of toys?

Some
children
are given a
number
of
toys
by their
parents
.
This
is said to lead to those
youngsters
not only becoming independent of their
parents
fast but
also
avoiding being bullied, while
this
can cause
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
financial burden on their
parents
and hamper the development of their imagination. Looking
first
at the advantages of providing
children
with a lot of
toys
,
this
accelerates their independence.
This
is because their faith in their
parents
grows fast, making them feel that whenever they are in trouble, their
parents
will help them.
As a result
, they try to do anything on their own. Another merit is that the more
toys
youngsters
own, the less likely they are to be bullied. I read in the newspaper that young people have the predisposition to be attracted to those having what they don’t
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and that giving
children
a
number
of
toys
can prevent them from becoming the target of bullying. Turning to the disadvantages, more
toys
can mean
heavier
Correct article usage
a heavier
show examples
financial burden on
parents
. The following incident was reported in Japan; a father run out of money, but his son pestered him to buy a video game he hoped for, which resulted in the father robbing an old lady of her purse and being arrested for the crime.
Besides
, giving a lot of
toys
prevents
children
from being imaginative. If they have few
toys
, they will try to do anything to enjoy themselves with the limited
number
of
toys
.
However
, surrounded by a
number
of
toys
,
youngsters
will be deprived of the chance. To conclude, being purchased a lot of
toys
enables
youngsters
to cultivate their self-dependence and to avoid being bullied, but at the same time, it can be a great cause of monetary burden on
parents
and the dearth of
children
’s imagination.
Submitted by momonanaharunatus on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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