In many countries, school-age children spend their free time doing homework. Is it a good or a bad thing? Give examples based on your own experience.

Spending leisure time in order to complete homework is fairly common among students these days. I think the trend is detrimental because
this
tends not
only
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toonly

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lower the chances to socialise with
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a friend

The noun phrase friend seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends

It seems that friend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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but ruins physical health as well.
This
essay will support my views and conclude appropriately at the end.
First
and foremost, during the pastime
activities
,
this
allows school-going
children
to meet their friends and neighbours.
This
meeting is
the
Change the article
apply

It appears that the phrase the one of does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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one of the best ways to communicate with others and building trustworthy relationships, which tend
have
Fix the infinitive
to have

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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many positive impacts. Especially, when the pupils get older, they will find
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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to work within a team, understand and tolerate others.
For instance
, the
children
could pursue some extracurricular
activities
: drawing, dancing, swimming and so on.
Otherwise
, if they sat and did homework, students would find
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult

The word difficulty doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to maintain
social
Add an article
the social
a social

The noun phrase social relationship seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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relationship.
Secondly
, the lack of free time
activities
could be harmful to both
physical
Correct article usage
the physical

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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and mental health of the young ones.
Although
studying during pastime
seem
Change the verb form
seems

The verb seem does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to be accurate, in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
,run

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter in the long run. Consider adding the comma(s).

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it will bring damaging effects. Because of
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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prolonged inactivity and social isolation, the
children
tend to become obese or
Correct your spelling
overweight

The word over weight seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight

The word over weight seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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. Due to
this
, they often experience
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of confidence leading
psychological
Change preposition
to psychological

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and medical problems. It has been noted that in America,
for example
, many
children
who avoiding engaging
free
Change preposition
in free

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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time
activities
experience mental and physical dysfunctions. In conclusion, engaging
school
Change preposition
in school

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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assignments during
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods

It seems that period may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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highly likely to result in some negative impacts
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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students’ live.
This
could be both bodily and mentally dysfunctions.
Submitted by Sal on

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