A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill

Nowadays, few institutions are implementing new strategies and some parents are providing more support in financial concepts to teenagers.
However
, many juveniles do not how to manage their own resources after finishing their studies.
This
essay will discuss two causes associated with
this
issue and suggest two potential solutions. The main reason for
this
problem is the education system does not provide
this
type of information and skill during the terms of school. In the school curriculum, there is no subject related to money or financial concepts.
As a result
, when youth need to make a decision about how they spend or save money, they do not know how. Despite the perversive effects, there are ways to reduce them. A viable solution is that the education sector will introduce all students to access to quality financial education online as a part of the program.
Additionally
, another reason is the inefficient information from parents. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
progenitors should make some recommendations about personal finance, they do not consider doing it.
For instance
, until young adults receive the right information about money from home, juveniles will not struggle financially first-hand. Another way to tackle
this
issue is to help children and teenagers manage an online application to help them keep track of their finances.
To conclude
, a lack of financial concepts and inefficient support from tutors and parents has led to
this
problem, and the most suitable recommendations are introducing a new financial subject and using financial applications on the Internet. From my point of view, it is a viral topic we must discuss with children from an early age. It is a life skill they will need in life.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider expanding the introduction to provide a clearer overview of what will be discussed in the essay. This helps to set the context for the reader.
task achievement
Ensure to fully expand and support each main point with detailed examples. This can help to strengthen your argument and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the reasons why young people struggle with money management and provides viable solutions.
task achievement
The use of specific terms and examples, such as the role of parents and the education system, adds depth to the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical transitions between paragraphs and ideas contribute to a coherent flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • real-world applications
  • consumer culture
  • credit facilities
  • financial independence
  • practical financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • financial responsibility
  • money management
  • financial planning
  • tailored
  • accessible
What to do next:
Look at other essays: