IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Very few people who commit crime want to. They do it because they feel they have no choice. This is the reality of the situation, and it means that police and prisons are not relevant to reducing crime.

#people #crime #choice #reality #situation #police #prisons
It is widely argued that most criminals commit offences because there are no alternatives for them, so police and prisons have no effect on reducing crimes. I completely disagree with
this
 view. It is undefining to make broad generalizations about the course of violation according to certain cases.
However
, it is true that some people violate laws because they are reduced to situations where they are unable to survive without doing so,
such
 as stealing food out of extreme poverty, but
this
 theory should not be applied to every case. On most occasions, people are motivated to illegally obtain something because their desire for it cannot be satisfied in decent ways. If we ascribe all the crimes to criminals’ failure to meet their basic needs, it cannot be explained why there are still high rates of robbery and theft in well-off societies.
Therefore
, it is not justifiable to say that a few people commit crimes of their own accord.
On the other hand
, force and prisons have been effective in dealing with wrongdoing in human history, and there are still no other feasible options. Police play an important role in law enforcement, and prisons have an effect on deterring criminals.
Moreover
, if it were not for these two government institutions, criminals would take to offences with abandon and society would fall into chaos. Only with the fear of being held accountable would potential culprits resort to legal ways to satisfy their desire. To conclude, it seems to me that offenders have other choices to live in
besides
 committing offences, and police and lockup are highly relevant to reducing crime.
Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: