some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some persons would claim, and I do not agree, that
music
is a good means of uniting individuals of varying cultures and age groups together.
This
essay would explain
further
. On the one hand, some would argue that
music
is a medium of bringing
people
of various traditions and ages together.
However
, I do not agree with
this
claim. They are of the opinion that because musical notes are pleasing to the ears when they are been sung, it has a way of uniting
people
together.
For instance
, according to the daily times' magazine,
music
is one of the primary reasons why different persons from different walks of life go for the annual carnival held in Lagos,Nigeria. Due to the fact that it is pleasing to the ears and mind,
many
Replace the quantifier
much
show examples
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that it is a way of bringing individuals from different backgrounds closer.
On the other hand
, I do not agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the fact that
music
brings
people
closer, as not all persons are musically inclined. Sports
such
as football,
basket ball
Correct your spelling
basketball
show examples
amongst other types of sporting activities have been proven beyond
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
show examples
doubt to unite various
people
across the world.
For example
, results of different studies have shown that the Olympic game usually held bi-annually brings
people
from the different continents together. Due to
this
proven fact, I do not concur with other
people
's
claim
Fix the agreement mistake
claims
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
many
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that
music
unites
people
from different cultures and ages, I do not concur with
this
statement, as some sports have been proven to better unite
people
.
Submitted by Victoria on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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