some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Some persons would claim, and I do not agree, that

music

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is a good means of uniting individuals of varying cultures and age groups together.

This

Linking Words

essay would explain

further

Linking Words

. On the one hand, some would argue that

music

Use synonyms

is a medium of bringing

people

Use synonyms

of various traditions and ages together.

However

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, I do not agree with

this

Linking Words

claim. They are of the opinion that because musical notes are pleasing to the ears when they are been sung, it has a way of uniting

people

Use synonyms

together.

For instance

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, according to the daily times' magazine,

music

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is one of the primary reasons why different persons from different walks of life go for the annual carnival held in Lagos,Nigeria. Due to the fact that it is pleasing to the ears and mind,

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

that it is a way of bringing individuals from different backgrounds closer.

On the other hand

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, I do not agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the fact that

music

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brings

people

Use synonyms

closer, as not all persons are musically inclined. Sports

such

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as football,

basket ball

Correct your spelling

basketball

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amongst other types of sporting activities have been proven beyond

reasonable

Add an article

a reasonable

show examples

doubt to unite various

people

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across the world.

For example

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, results of different studies have shown that the Olympic game usually held bi-annually brings

people

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from the different continents together. Due to

this

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proven fact, I do not concur with other

people

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claim

Fix the agreement mistake

claims

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

many

belief

Replace the word

believe

show examples

that

music

Use synonyms

unites

people

Use synonyms

from different cultures and ages, I do not concur with

this

Linking Words

statement, as some sports have been proven to better unite

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by Victoria on Tue Jul 06 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers should give staff at least four weeks holidays a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think they newspapers are the best way to get news. However others believe that other media are better source of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that students should not be given homework, while others think that homework is important for children, what is your opinion?

Some people like to do their everyday shopping at large supermarkets. Others want to go to several small stores or local markets to buy what they need. Which style of shopping do you prefer and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?