In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.
Some citizens across the globe
thought
that the development of a fast train system connecting two Wrong verb form
think
cities
is essential, while
others believe that the expenditure should be relocated in
the refurbishment of current public transport. In Change preposition
to
this
essay, I will give an explanation of both views while
also
including my own opinion.
Recently, the construction of fast trains has been implemented in several big cities
in many nations. Usually, this
technology is needed to connect two cities
that have routine visitors from both sides. Because of this
, regular passengers can have an alternative option to visit the other town without having to worry about the trip duration. For example
, it is common knowledge that people
from Jakarta and Bandung visit other cities
regularly. Hence
, the government constructed a fast train connecting both cities
and now, it is routinely used because of its speed. However
, I think that this
establishment can be very costly, and the benefits are limited.
The benefits of public transportation must be felt by not only privileged people
but all citizens needs
to get a taste of it. Correct subject-verb agreement
need
Instead
of spending a lot of money to build an expensive facility in one area, it is better to optimize existing facilities so that more people
can use them. Take Jakarta for an example; the budget to refurbish the existing public vehicle is very cheap compared to the total funds for the reconstruction of new railway lines.
In conclusion, although
the procurement of fast trains have
many advantages for some Change the verb form
has
people
, i
believe that the Change the capitalization
I
optimalization
of current public transport is more efficient and useful for the Correct your spelling
optimization
populations
.Fix the agreement mistake
population
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task achievement
Your essay presents both views and offers a clear opinion, which is essential for achieving a high Task Response score. However, for an even higher score, ensure that all examples and arguments are thoroughly developed and relevant. For instance, provide more specific data or scenarios where public transport refurbishment benefited a larger population.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve coherence, make sure to use transitional phrases to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. For example, 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'On the other hand' can help make the text flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear overview and summary of the essay's main points.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, particularly the example of the Jakarta-Bandung fast train, which helps to illustrate the potential benefits and drawbacks of such projects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.