In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?
Nowadays, most nations have problems with land around the
city
because they are looking for a place to build apartments
. Some say that we do not need to build apartments
in the countryside to protect nature. Personally, I do not agree with this
idea, and in this
essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
Every country must prepare roads, public transportation, workplaces etc. to extend cities through their own land. First of all, if we do not construct buildings outside of the city
, it could be the main reason for many issues such
as a traffic jam, air pollution, and price increases for apartments
and land. For example
, half the population of Mongolia, live in the capital city
of Ulaanbaatar. Therefore
, the issues that I mentioned, are going worse than ever for the last
couple of years. People who live in Ulaanbaatar, spend three to five hours in traffic every day even though it is the smallest capital in Asia according to
The Statistic Institute of Mongolia.
On the other hand
, it is difficult to protect nature if the population increases there because of rubbish and industrialization. The rubbish is totally based on the population. A regular lifestyle of people creates lots of plastic bags and other rubbish. A person generates around 3 tonnes of waste in a year according to
the National Waste Report of Australia in 2023.
In conclusion, every country has its own plan to build suites and homes for the coming years. However
, building apartments
or new homes outside of the city
or countryside increases the number of workplaces and decreases air pollution and traffic jams.Submitted by enkhbat0923 on
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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating on both sides of the argument more evenly to improve task achievement. Presenting a more balanced discussion can make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make the progression of ideas smoother.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points effectively; consider incorporating statistics, studies, or real-world examples that are closely related to the topic.
Task Achievement
Be cautious of general statements that lack detail. Instead, focus on providing more precise information and examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state your viewpoint, providing a solid framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively use examples to support your points, such as the situation in Ulaanbaatar and the National Waste Report of Australia, which enriches your argument.