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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the goverment should takr care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say indiciduals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Is it a positivr or negative development?

#people #goverment #takr #care #support #indiciduals #years #fund #retirement #positivr #development
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There has been a mixed opinion on whether
government
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the government
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 should take
care
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 of old
people
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 by providing financial support after they retire or they should take
care
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 of themselves. I strongly feel that
governments
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 need to take
care
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 of the elderly
people
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 in their old age. Elderly
people
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 are the pillars of the society who has led their lives in shaping the future of the country. During their working
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year's
years'
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years
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,years
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 individuals have a lot on their plate to take
care
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 of like providing for the family, taking
care
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 of their parents, providing for
children’s'
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children's
 education and etc.
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, every person pays taxes as their part to develop the society. In few
countries
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,countries
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people
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 almost pay 30% of their income as taxes to the government. It is the
governments
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' responsibility to take
care
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 of their citizens at their old age. With many responsibilities on their heads, few individuals may fail
fund
Fix the infinitive
to fund
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for
Change preposition
apply
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their retirement. In
such
Linking Words
cases
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,cases
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governments
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 can lend their hands to
such
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people
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 who have worked hard their entire lives so that they can retire peacefully. The
governments
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 can take initiatives to help these
people
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 by establishing nursing homes, providing retirement funds to employees and etc. In conclusion, I strongly believe that all the
governments
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 should start initiatives to provide financial support to old
people
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 after they retire.
This
Linking Words
 gives an assurance to the individuals regarding their retirement.
This
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 a positive development towards the economy of any country.
Such
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 agendas make the countries more sustainable in terms of
people
Use synonyms
 welfare.
Submitted by yojitha.kurupath on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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