IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson. To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

#children #internet #lesson #lessons
We are all concerned about the
usage
 of the
internet
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the perfect way to teach children in every lesson. Perhaps using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is the best for
students
, but some surveys will show that it is not suitable for all of them and that other choices are preferable. 
Firstly
, we should observe the survey and analysis among all
students
 and parents. It is probably true that using the
internet
 in lessons is effective for
students
 in some ways, but
according to
internet
usage
 statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that youngsters mostly surf the
internet
 to play games, connect
social
Change preposition
to social
show examples
 media and watch movies.
For example
, the US
schools’
Change noun form
schools
show examples
students
 often play games with others by using the
internet
 at school. 
Secondly
, it must be said that the
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 of
internet
usage
 in schools
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worry parents today,
such
 as
internet
 addiction, poor study motivation and ability.
This
 means there is a danger that the results indicated that loneliness, in turn, made concentrating harder for kids.  Turning to possible alternatives, probably the most effective would be to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education about
internet
usage
,
for
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 some
students
 learn new subjects and improve their knowledge by using the
internet
.
For example
, relevant content is available on the
internet
 which provides a free and wide source of education. Another viable option would be to ban some websites that are not necessarily for
students
such
 as Facebook, YouTube and gaming sites.
For instance
,
although
 some countries allow the use of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 at schools, some
webpages
Correct your spelling
web pages
show examples
 are banned. 
Overall
, we have seen that
usage
 of  the
internet
 in lessons is of limited effectiveness.
However
, education
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
usage
 and educational websites would appear to be worthy solutions.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: