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Writing Samples
Band 8

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle this.

#gap #create
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In the developed world, average
life
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expectancy
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 is increasing. What problems will
this
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 cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. Presently, citizens all over the world are experiencing longer lives
due to
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 improvements in medical and technological industries.
This
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 phenomenon offers both advantages and disadvantages, which will be examined in
this
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 essay
along with
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 suggestions to mitigate the impact of ageing populations. On the one hand, increasing
life
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expectancy
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 can have negative implications for economic growth
due to
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 potential overpopulation.
This
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 issue can lead to overcrowding in society and place a strain on resources
such
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 as healthcare and social services.
Additionally
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, the elderly may face loneliness and depression if they outlive their peers and family members, leading to mental health issues.
On the other hand
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, a longer
life
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expectancy
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 allows elderly individuals to enjoy more time with their families, thanks to technological and medical advancements.
For instance
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, grandparents can experience the joy of spending more time with their grandchildren and witnessing their growth, fostering closer family bonds. To address the challenges posed by an ageing population, several measures can be implemented.
Firstly
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, promoting mental health across all age groups, not just the elderly, is crucial.
This
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 can be achieved by organizing intergenerational activities that foster social connections and prevent isolation.
Secondly
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, encouraging healthy lifestyles and preventive healthcare can help reduce the incidence of chronic diseases among the elderly, thereby lessening the burden on healthcare systems. In conclusion, increasing
life
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expectancy
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 presents both advantages and disadvantages. In my perspective,
this
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 issue can be mitigated by promoting mental health and involving elderly people in societal activities, ensuring a better quality of
life
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 for all generations.
Submitted by aoalsuqaier16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide even more specific examples to illustrate the challenges and proposed solutions, as this adds depth and clarity to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-structured and flows logically, try to link the paragraphs even more explicitly using transitional phrases, ensuring a seamless progression of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded and clear response to the prompt, addressing both problems and solutions effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay and provide a concise overview of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, and each paragraph focuses on a distinct point, making your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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