IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

n some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#n #countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Food
Use synonyms
 choices are been changing dramatically these days.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
people
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 in few countries are consuming more
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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junk
food
Use synonyms
 which is
consequently
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 leading to health issues.
Hence
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,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should be imposing heavy taxes on unhealthy
food
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 items. I completely agree with
this
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 idea and will be elaborating my view on
this
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further
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 in
this
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 essay in an exemplary manner.
To begin
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 with, many companies selling fast
food
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 are quite cheap which are easy to purchase and have healthy options expensive on their menu which
compell
Correct your spelling
compel
compels
compelled
people
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 to buy the more affordable ones.
For instance
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, many
people
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 just buy a hamburger from Mc
donalds
Change the capitalization
Donalds
Donald's
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on
Change preposition
at
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cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
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 price as compared to vegetable salad and a glass of fresh orange juice.
Moreover
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in western countries just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grab a hamburger or other fried stuff from their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurant while on the way to their workplace.
In other words
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, junk
food
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 seems to them a more convenient and affordable option.
In addition
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 to
this
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, there are myriad nations where fresh
foood
Correct your spelling
food
 is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
costlier than the frozen foods.
Organic
Correct article usage
The organic
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food
Use synonyms
 section in supermarkets is separate and pricey as compared to, the frozen junk
food
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Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example, fries, nuggets, burgers, etc., are kept in attractive discount offers.
This
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 strategy of hypermarkets is one of the leading
reasson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 attributed to
people
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's ill health. The government must enforce strict laws against selling harmful edible products
such
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 as fizzy drinks, branded fast foods. To conclude, every individual has their own eating habits and are free to choose between different
food
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 options available.
However
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, some
people
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 lack knowledge about the
food
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 they eat so it is the duty of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to exercise awareness campaigns and do their best as much as possible to take care of the health of their nationals.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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