Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Undeniably, the younger generation is more educated than their predecessors, which has sparked a debate about the reasons behind it. Some attribute it to the increased competition in the
job
market
, whearas
others believe it is Correct your spelling
whereas
due to
the availability of educational freedom. This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and explain why advancement is rooted in interactive factors from both sides.
On one hand, the job
market
has become increasingly competitive. With globalization and technological advancements, the demand for highly skilled workers has surged. Specifically, employers now seek candidates with a primary degree and specialized qualifications
. This
has compelled many young people
to pursue higher education
and gain additional qualifications
to stand out in the job
fair. For instance
, a recent survey revealed that 70% of graduates in the UK pursued postgraduate studies to enhance their employability. Such
competition has driven young people
to seek advanced qualifications
.
On the other hand
, the expansion of educational opportunities has also
played a significant role in the increased qualifications
of young people
. With the proliferation of online learning platforms and the availability of scholarships, education
has become more accessible than ever before. This
has enabled individuals who might not yet have the means or the opportunity to pursue higher education
to continue their studies. Platforms like Coursera and edX, for instance
, offer many courses from renowned universities worldwide. Thanks to the expanded educational opportunities, young people
now have democratized access to higher education
.
While
job
market
competition has motivated many to acquire more qualifications
, the availability of educational opportunities should not be underestimated. The democratization of education
has opened doors for many individuals, allowing them to gain further
education
that was once out of reach. Therefore
, a combination of both factors has led to young adults being better qualified than in the past.
In conclusion, the reasons behind the increased qualifications
of the younger generation are multifaceted. While
the competitive job
market
has undoubtedly played a part, the accessibility of education
has also
been a significant contributing factor. It is crucial to continue expanding educational convenience to ensure that everyone has the chance to reach their full potential.Submitted by 78089789 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve, you could vary connecting words for better flow and introduce more nuanced transitions between ideas. Considering both explicit and implicit linkages will enhance overall readability and cohesion.
task achievement
In terms of task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly. While the main ideas are generally relevant and well-elaborated, providing more specific examples to support claims would strengthen the argument. Illustrate points with detailed and pertinent examples to enhance the response.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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