Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #jobs #education #opportunities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Undeniably, the younger generation is more educated than their predecessors, which has sparked a debate about the reasons behind it. Some attribute it to the increased competition in the

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

whearas

Correct your spelling

whereas

others believe it is

due to

Linking Words

the availability of educational freedom.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both viewpoints and explain why advancement is rooted in interactive factors from both sides. On one hand, the

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

has become increasingly competitive. With globalization and technological advancements, the demand for highly skilled workers has surged. Specifically, employers now seek candidates with a primary degree and specialized

qualifications

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

has compelled many young

people

Use synonyms

to pursue higher

education

Use synonyms

and gain additional

qualifications

Use synonyms

to stand out in the

job

Use synonyms

fair.

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent survey revealed that 70% of graduates in the UK pursued postgraduate studies to enhance their employability.

Such

Linking Words

competition has driven young

people

Use synonyms

to seek advanced

qualifications

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the expansion of educational opportunities has

also

Linking Words

played a significant role in the increased

qualifications

Use synonyms

of young

people

Use synonyms

. With the proliferation of online learning platforms and the availability of scholarships,

education

Use synonyms

has become more accessible than ever before.

This

Linking Words

has enabled individuals who might not yet have the means or the opportunity to pursue higher

education

Use synonyms

to continue their studies. Platforms like Coursera and edX,

for instance

Linking Words

, offer many courses from renowned universities worldwide. Thanks to the expanded educational opportunities, young

people

Use synonyms

now have democratized access to higher

education

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

competition has motivated many to acquire more

qualifications

Use synonyms

, the availability of educational opportunities should not be underestimated. The democratization of

education

Use synonyms

has opened doors for many individuals, allowing them to gain

further

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

that was once out of reach.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a combination of both factors has led to young adults being better qualified than in the past. In conclusion, the reasons behind the increased

qualifications

Use synonyms

of the younger generation are multifaceted.

While

Linking Words

the competitive

job

Use synonyms

market

Use synonyms

has undoubtedly played a part, the accessibility of

education

Use synonyms

has

also

Linking Words

been a significant contributing factor. It is crucial to continue expanding educational convenience to ensure that everyone has the chance to reach their full potential.

Submitted by 78089789 on Mon Nov 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, to improve, you could vary connecting words for better flow and introduce more nuanced transitions between ideas. Considering both explicit and implicit linkages will enhance overall readability and cohesion.

task achievement

In terms of task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly. While the main ideas are generally relevant and well-elaborated, providing more specific examples to support claims would strengthen the argument. Illustrate points with detailed and pertinent examples to enhance the response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

355 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages.
We are aware that every country has its own official or minority languages. With the abundance of languages, English, Spanish, and Mandarin seem to be used more frequently, causing concerns about the possible disappearance of lesser-known minority languages. In my view, every country needs to find a way to protect its minority languages as part of its national identity.
7
band
Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
These days in a globalized world, when we talk about "success", a word that has a dozen meanings for every person. Some argue that a bunch of people are eager to reach their success with two options, career or education.
6
band
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
The rising concern about consuming no meat or fish is widely believed by some individuals as they argue that this viewpoint is beneficial for their well-being and society as a whole. I will shed light on this issue in this essay.
8
band
Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
ome say that spending lots of money on art is important, while others also say that many countries should focus on health and education development. This essay will describe both views of these thoughts and how those are essential for the capitals.
4.5
band
Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?
these days children are facing severe pressure by their parents to become successful in life. In my opinion this is positive change, eventhough there is some drawbacks. In this essay, i will explore it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Many countries spend a lot of money on art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?