Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #crimes #adults

In recent times, the number of young people being convicted for various offences has drastically increased. While certain persons believe that younger people involved in serious crimes deserve to be sentenced as adults, others

however

do not share these views. I completely disagree

however

I will explain why I believe some might think everyone deserves the same punishment. There is unarguably a rise in the involvement of teenagers in crimes lately. There are many factors that might be strong contributors to

this

recent development. An example is peer pressure.

Nevertheless

, everybody child deserves hope and a future. We all make mistakes, some greater than others, but one mistake should not cost a teen their future. Adult prisons are filled with persons who have committed all sorts of crimes and exposing these children to

such

environments can affect their mental health. Leaving them scarred for life. Juvenile detention systems remain the best for younger folks who are offenders as they are offered services like rehabilitation and psychotherapy which enable them to become better members of society.

On the other hand

, others are of the opinion everyone should bear the consequences of their actions regardless of age. They think the law should not be bias just because one is young. Some argue that these younger children who get off with lighter sentences become a menace to society once they are released.

For instance

, in 2012, Robert Finley was convicted of

first

-degree murder at the tender age of 10. He was sent to juvenile prison for only 4 years and later released. Barely 2 months after his release, he raped and murdered his neighbour's daughter. Cases

such

this

, make strengthens the argument why they should be sent off to maximum prisons like the older convicts. In conclusion, recently, more youths are being sent off to detention centres and prisons more. while it has resulted in some people demanding the same degree of punishment for everyone, I

however

vehemently disagree and believe there are better ways to punish them.

Submitted by ejeh.loveth on Thu Jul 08 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product (such as a cell phone) or service (medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?