Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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In recent times, the number of young people being convicted for various offences has drastically increased.

While

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certain persons believe that younger people involved in serious crimes deserve to be sentenced as adults, others

however

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do not share these views. I completely disagree

however

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I will explain why I believe some might think everyone deserves the same punishment. There is unarguably a rise in the involvement of teenagers in crimes lately. There are many factors that might be strong contributors to

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recent development. An example is peer pressure.

Nevertheless

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everybody

Correct your spelling

every

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child deserves hope and a future. We all make mistakes, some greater than others, but one mistake should not cost a teen their future. Adult prisons are filled with persons who have committed all sorts of crimes and exposing these children to

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environments can affect their mental health. Leaving them scarred for life. Juvenile detention systems remain the best for younger folks who are offenders as they are offered services like rehabilitation and psychotherapy which enable them to become better members of society.

On the other hand

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, others are of the opinion everyone should bear the consequences of their actions regardless of age. They think the law should not be

bias

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biased

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just because one is young. Some argue that these younger children who get off with lighter sentences become a menace to society once they are released.

For instance

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, in 2012, Robert Finley was convicted of first-degree murder at the tender age of 10. He was sent to juvenile prison for only 4 years and later released. Barely 2 months after his release, he raped and murdered his neighbour's daughter. Cases

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this

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, make

strengthens

Correct subject-verb agreement

strengthen

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the argument why they should be sent off to maximum prisons like the older convicts. In conclusion, recently, more youths are being sent off to detention centres and prisons

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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while

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it has resulted in some people demanding the same degree of punishment for everyone, I

however

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vehemently disagree and believe there are better ways to punish them.

ejeh.lovethThu Jul 08 2021

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow by using clearer topic sentences and linking words to transition between ideas more smoothly. Consider how each paragraph relates back to your main argument.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate on your ideas with more detailed examples or explanations to fully develop your arguments.

task achievement

You provided a clear opinion on the issue, stating your disagreement with punishing young offenders as adults.

task achievement

The essay presents a relevant example (Robert Finley), which strengthens your argument against leniency in juvenile sentences.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

With the widespread use of interent , more and more peolpe choose to work from home. Do the advantage of this trend outwight the disadvantage?

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?