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Band 5

Over consuming sugar is unhealthy. Some people think that governments should take responsibility to control it. Others think that individuals should take responsibility for sugar intake. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #people #governments #responsibility #control #individuals #intake
Sugar consumption among
people
 has increased
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of being an unhealthy food. Some
people
 argue that the government should be held responsible for
this
 whereas others consider that it
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the concerned person to take care of himself.
This
 essay will discuss both the arguments and in my opinion individuals should take care of their own health. Excess intake of sugar has affected peoples health by causing non-communicable
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
.
Firstly
, it has been directly linked to obesity and atherosclerosis in the population. Doctors agree that
this
 overconsumption has resulted in a drastic rise in stroke and myocardial infarction among
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 public.
Also
, it has addictive potential and when
people
 continue to consume it on a regular basis it gets stored in the body as a stubborn fat-causing a plethora of diseases. There are two ways in which government can control
this
 problem. Public awareness campaigns with the help of doctors and NGO's and frequent advertisement in electronic media and newspapers will help
people
 in understanding
this
 issue better. At the same time strict enforcement of laws which will regulate the amount of
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 in foods and in case of excess sugars, a warning sign should be mentioned on the bottles. The recent NDTV-Apollo hospital campaign against consuming
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of sugars in various metro cities made a significant impact among the citizens to quit
carbohydrate
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrates
show examples
 in their diet. To summarise excess sugars are dangerous for health and self-awareness of
this
 issue among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals is pivotal in curbing
this
 problem. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 government should actively participate to stop
this
 practice.
Submitted by shishduble on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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