IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The quality of the health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of healthcare for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#quality #health #care #person #size #bank #balance #government #level #healthcare #citizens
Nowadays
people
 are an enormous going through a sedentary lifestyle and,
as a result
, they obtain chronic disease, whose
treatment
 needs a significant amount of money. It presumes that the quality of medical care does not depend on their wealth but authorities should entrust for giving better level of health care for their citizen. If asked, I agree with
this
 give a statement and ample reasons for that explained
further
 in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
 with, these days the ratio of poor
people
 and a reach inclined day by day,
therefore
, all societies does not have equal wealth it is a rudimentary thing for a cabinet to give therapy on a free of cost or lower rate to their citizen.
Moreover
, due to hectic
schedule
Add a comma
,schedule
show examples
people
 often diagnose chronic diseases
such
 as heart attack and cancer, and cure for
this
 need exorbitant value. Lung transplant takes as an example, the cost for
this
 is tremendously expensive, which every
people
 could not afford it.
In addition
, the cabinet should invest a vast amount in research vaccines for acute diseases
such
 as polio, corona and provide vaccines free of cost. To illustrate, in India, after inventing the corona vaccine, authority serves
people
 for free,
as a result
, the government can control
this
 rampant on facilitating way.
Furthermore
, political parties should update the latest technology for
treatment
;
hence
, folks would not suffer and die to lack of
treatment
.
However
, investing huge amounts for medical equipment and free
treatment
 directly gave an impact on the economy,
therefore
 prices of taxes enhance indirectly because authority
also
 wants money from citizens to give a higher level of health care. To conclude, health is a mandatory need for every human being. In my opinion, the government have to spend a large amount on the vaccine and free
treatment
, which helps to a poor citizen.
However
, there is
also
 some darker side to
this
 phenomenon but we can neglect
this
.
Submitted by kajavadarapiyush786 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: